Loki's Unforgettable Road Trip
by Evelyn Rogue
Summary: The Asgardians made it to earth, but there's still a certain god of mischief to think about. Only hours after Loki is bullied into joining the Avengers, he's being dragged on a frustrating but memorable road trip with not only the Avengers, but Dr. Strange and the Parkers. Will this end well... It's anybodies guess.
1. Chapter 1

-Helicarrier-6:14 A.M.-

Loki's green eyes flashed in annoyance at the two men standing directly in front of him.

His brother, Thor, is smiling broadly, and Fury looks as annoyed as the god of mischief himself.

Standing right behind Thor is the entire Avengers team. They all stand uneasily; however, all had agreed to Thor's repulsive plan, and Loki was even less thrilled than the Avengers.

"I refuse." Loki stated flatly.

"As you have every tight to, however your options are limited. You can rot in an Asgardian dungeon, one of my super-max prisons, or… you can spend your next year on earth working, training, and _living_ with the Avengers…" Fury announced coldly.

Biting his lip, Loki lowered his head and thought it through carefully. Thor had landed the Asgardians in Norway, and then asked the Avengers to consider the unthinkable. A couple hours later, Thor had dragged Loki to the helicarrier with the Avengers in tow.

"Brother-" Thor warned slowly.

"You can't do anything?" Loki asked the god of thunder.

Thor's frown was answer enough, causing Loki to sigh.

"Whatever, I'll let Thor decide." Loki shrugged.

"Good, Stark, here is your newest recruit." Thor announced brightly shoving his brother towards the Avengers.

Silence followed, and Tony ran his hand through his dark hair. "So we have this three week road trip coming up, and all the seats are full. I was hoping Loki could stay here until we get back." He finally announced with a sheepish grin.

Raising an eyebrow, Fury crossed his arms. "Didn't you tell me Daredevil was forced into that little arrangement? Oh, and from the sounds of it, Thor is too busy as king of the Asgardians; that's two seats open ,Stark."

Grinding his teeth, Tony replied, "Fine, I'll call horn-head and tell him he can stay."

"Good because I'm calling in an expert to take Thor's seat."

"Who?"

"A friend."

"I hate super spies."

"If it's any consolation, I hate you too."

Scowling, Loki rolled his eyes before asking, "When do we leave?"

"Four hours." Tony shrugged glancing at his watch.

"See you in a month ,Friends, bye ,Brother." Thor stated before spinning on his heels and walking out.

"Wait ,Thor!" Loki called out, but Thor was already gone. "Well, that's just terrific. Did I tell you, Thor wanted to call us the Revengers?" He asked the group.

Everyone gave him a skeptical look.

This was going to be fun.

-Hell's Kitchen—7:27 A.M.-

"Hello you've reached Karen Page of Nelson's and Murdock Attorneys at law, how can I help you?" Karen Page requested cheerily into the phone.

" _Hey ,Karen, it's Tony, I need to talk to_ _the_ _ **other guy**_ _."_

"Right the other guy. Give me a minute." Karen placed a hand over the receiver and called into the other room. "Matt, it's for the _other guy_."

"Thanks ,Karen, patch it through." Matt's voice filtered through the open door.

A few button pushes later.

"Matt here, to whom am I speaking?"

" _Good news horn-head, you're not going on the road trip today. We have to babysit Thor's adopted brother… Your seat's been taken."_

A few moments later, Karen dropped her pen in surprise to an overjoyed. "Wahooo!" Coming from Matt's office.

-Undisclosed Location—7:34 A.M.-

"I noticed Loki Laufeyson has come back to earth…"

"Yes, and I was hoping you might tag along an the Avenger's road trip, to… keep an eye on him." Fury nodded at the man.

"Is this another plan to get me on the Avengers team?"

"No, this is a plan to keep the god of mischief out of trouble."

The figure rubbed his beard and nodded.

"Fine, when do we leave?"

A smirk formed on Fury's lips.

-Avenger's Tower—9:55 A.M.-

"Okay, Cap has his bags; Nat, where are your bags… Oh, never mind; has anyone seen Loki?"

"I'm right behind you ,Mortal." Loki growled from an inch behind Tony.

"IIIEEE!" screeched the invincible iron man, promptly before dropping his tablet.

All eyes had shifted to Tony, and Natasha bore silent laughter in her eyes. Meanwhile, Hawkeye wasn't even trying to hide his laughter.

Turning slightly red, Tony scrabbled to grab his tablet whilst glaring at Loki.

Unceremoniously dumping his bag into the trunk of the minivan, Loki shot a mischievous grin at Tony.

"I hate you." Tony snarled under his breath.

"You hate a lot of people." was the sarcastic retort.

"Okay , _Children,_ Fury's guest is arriving." Natasha announced yanking a communications device from her ear.

A sizzling sound resonated through the garage and a gold glowing orb opened behind them.

A tall man in a brown leather outfit topped with a red cape emerged with a frown. He looked anything but happy as he eyed Loki.

"You." Loki hissed with venom in his voice.

"Ah, yes, I'm me, and you're you. Glad we have that cleared up." Doctor Strange grumbled.

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Loki smirked. "You're the Director's _expert_? I was expecting more than a common street magician."

Red color worked it's way up Strange's face, and his fingers clenched..

"Oh, I'm sorry did that offend you? You only need one hundred more years of practice to become a stage magician."

"This coming from the guy who manages to die twice… Yeah, Thor told us." Bruce muttered walking by.

"I can't believe Fury wants you to go with us. You're annoying enough from your Sanction Cremorium." Tony stated flatly.

"That's Sanctum Sanctorum, and Fury believes Thor's absence leaves me best suited to handle Loki." The magician curtly hissed.

"You do realize that I'm standing right here? And I agree ;we should leave now."

"Hey sorry I'm late!" A young voice erupted out of nowhere.

"Underoos, you're late." Tony snapped.

"Sorry." A teenage boy waltzed in, followed closely by a brown haired woman. She was in shorts and a blue blouse, and the boy was in jeans and a red tee shirt.

Loki's eyebrow shot up when the boy and woman stopped.

"What is he doin' here?" The boy asked.

"Peter, Loki is now an Avenger. It was Thor's idea to keep him out of trouble. Loki, meet Peter Parker and his Aunt, May Parker. They're the last two travelers." Steve Rogers introduced.

"And what are their powers?" Loki and Strange asked in unison, promptly before glaring at one another.

"Peter is the hero they call Spiderman, and Ms. Parker is his adorable doting Aunt who won't let him go alone with us for three weeks." Stark chuckled, receiving a horrified look from Parker.

"Aunt May spoke up. "You have a reckless tendency to find unwanted trouble. I'm going along to make sure things don't get out of hand. And let me tell you, I'm not afraid to lay the smack down on _anyone_." She announced glancing pointedly at Loki.

He couldn't explain it, but this woman made him nervous.

His look of shock must have been evident because Tony was smirking.

"Well ladies and gentlemen, let's get this show on the road!" The billionaire shouted ecstatically.

Pushing and shoving resulted as the group piled into the car. After the roughest of the group had been seated, the four calmer souls (Loki, Strange, Bruce, and May) entered the vehicle.

"Alright, roll call. Natasha."

"Here"

"Clint"

"Here"

"Peter?"

"Yup!"

"Loki?"

"Isn't my presence obvious?"

"Yup he's here. Strange?"

"I'm present."

"May?"

"Oh, I'm here all right."

"Bruce."

"Yes?" Bruce looked up from the tablet he had his nose buried in.

"Steve?"

"Just get the car moving ,Tony."

"Alright people. The trip across America is starting in ,5"

"I'm already regretting this." Loki murmured from his cramped position in back between May and Strange.

"Four."

The engine whirred to life.

"Lets get going already!" shouted Peter, resulting in a warning glance from Aunt May.

"3"

"Darn it Tony!" Steve shouted.

"Language... 2"

"That wasn't even a swear word!" Cap snapped; Tony shrugged.

"1." The vehicle shot off at what anyone would have sworn was illegal speeds, and the road trip had started.

Next time: One eyed Fury had a team...

 **Hey ,Guys, Darkwolfthewriter here. Thank you for reading this. I plan on lots fun and bickering among the heroes/semi-hero/scary aunt in the chapter 2. Stay tuned for more craziness as the chaos ensues!**

 **I'm also welcoming reviews, and especially suggestions. I'm winging this story so to speak, so if you all have ideas on locations, please give me a heads up!**


	2. Chapter 2

-Tony's Minivan—10:05-

"Uh, Mr. Stark? I have to go to the bathroom." Peter timidly called from the middle row.

"You what?" Stark whipped around scowling.

With a few eye rolls and sarcastic comments, not five minutes into their journey they returned to the tower.

"Anyone else?" Stark asked coldly, after Peter had scurried upstairs.

He was given a rather grouchy glare from Loki and Strange, and the others shook their heads.

-Tony's Minvan—11:10-

"Seriously dude? Move OVER!" Tony snapped at Nat, who silenced him with a deadly glare. Tony muttered some things under his breath, and Nat automatically started chewing him out in Russian.

"Erm, Loki?" Bruce squeaked, eyes wide behind his glasses. The Jotun didn't even look at him, but answered anyway.

"What ,Mortal?"

"Erm, your elbow is kinda in my side…." Bruce stated meekly.

And indeed that was the case. Loki rolled his eyes, and effectively ignored the timid scientist. Tony and Nat sat in the front, the latter still jabbering angrily in Russian, and the genius hunched over behind the steering wheel, as if the circle of polished leather could protect him from the wrath of the angry assassin.

At the very back of the vehicle, Steve sat next to the window, reading (well, trying to read) a "for Dummies" book on the marvels on the iphone. The reason the cool super soldier was slightly aggravated could be attributed to the hyper teenage boy seated between Steve and his aunt. Normally, Steve wouldn't mind sitting next to the kid, but Peter was literally going to talk his ear off soon. Steve secretly wondered if the excited, puppy-like teen could talk that quickly because of his powers, or the time spent around a certain egoist with a fetish for metal suits,

"Mordo's boots, can that kid ever SHUT UP?" Stephen whined, and Barton rolled his eyes.

"He learned it from the best." Clint snapped, glaring at Tony, who was currently sticking headphones on, since Nat had decided to stop yelling in Russian.

"So, let me get this straight. You're Loki, and you're doctor weird?" Peter finally asked turning to face the two magicians.

"Strange. It's Doctor Stephen Strange. What about that is so hard to remember?" He asked the trickster.

Loki shrugged without looking up from the window he had been intently glaring through.

May watched him with a sense of pity. Sure, she was still wary due to the attack on New York, and Loki's condescending attitude was infuriating, but she also knew he was hurting. It was a look she had seen many times before...on many other people, and she wanted help with that.

"So ,Loki, tell me about yourself." She suggested, trying to break the icy tension that had arisen throughout the van.

"I'm the adopted brother of Thor, forced avenger, and not interested in divulging any other information to a lowly mortal." He snapped.

After a surprised exhale, May nodded and turned to Peter who had dozed off.

Strange hadn't taken his eye off Loki, and wasn't even attempting to have fun… Neither was Loki for that matter.

"I spy with my one little eye something yellow." May announced after a long moment.

"What?" Loki asked jerking up, a glimmer of annoyance lurked in his green eyes (though he would never admit being annoyed to Peter's terrifying aunt).

"It's a game, the one who guesses what I'm thinking gets to go next."

"Oh, Stark's yellow shirt with the bug eyes." Loki guessed without enthusiasm.

"I will have you know, this is a minion shirt from Despicable me." Protested Tony from the front seat.

"I've never heard of it."

"Y-you've never-. Okay, it's about this super-villain who turns good." Tony shrugged.

"Way to ruin a movie ,Genius!" Clint growled.

"Hmm, I wonder if there are any similarities between us?" The Jotun sighed thoughtfully.

"Yup, you both have the same nose." Clint snorted. Clint was meaning as an insult. He trusted Loki about as far as he could throw him, and was planning on making this trip a horrible one for the trickster.

Aunt May reached up and pinched the archer's arm, resulting in an unmanly and pained squeak.

"Sorry," he muttered under his breath, without a hint of remorse.

Peter started awake and hit Loki with his elbow.

"U-uh sorry Mr. Loki ,Sir." Peter apologized to the surprised trickster.

"Fret not; if that kind of thing annoyed me, Thor would have felt my wrath centuries ago." Loki smirked coldly.

A few minutes of eye spy lasted, but died off. Finally Tony had had enough of the tense silence. He could practically feel Loki and Strange glaring at each other, and Clint was hiding his unease with Loki by sulking quietly in his seat.

"Okay, enough is enough!" Tony finally shouted, his voice echoing through the vehicle.

"Loki, you have to participate in whatever we do; in fact so do you Strange. If I catch you two glaring at one another again, you both will be stranded by the side of the road... _together!_ " He took a calming breath. "Clint, Loki's part of the team now, so swallow whatever hatred you have for him, and act like a senior member of this team."

Clint dipped his head in submission but kept his scowl ,while Strange forced smile and Loki nodded.

"Good, because Jarvis and I have been working on a song!"

"Tony, don't you dare!" Natasha shouted, ramming her elbow into his side. The inventor let out a yelp as the car swerved, unnerving everyone including both magicians.

Tony pushed a button and "Old McDonald began filtering through the systems.

That's when Tony began singing.

" _One eyed Fury had a team…. EIEIO._

 _And on that team he had an Iron Man… EIEIO._

 _With a BOOM BOOM here and a BOOM BOOM there,_

 _here a BOOM, there a BOOM everywhere a BOOM BOOM,_

 _One eyed Fury had a team… EIEIO._

At this point Steve was face palming, and Peter bobbing his head in tune to the song.

That's when Nat began singing the next verse.

 _One Eyed Fury had a team… EIEIO._

 _And on that team he had a captain…. EIEIO._

 _With a Shield, shield here and a shield, shield there,_

 _here a shield, there a shield, everywhere a shield, shield,_

 _One eyed Fury had a team, EIEIO_

The next verse involved Widow and her stingers… At this point Clint, and Peter started singing.

The next verse was Hulk with his smash… May and Bruce joined in, and Loki winced visibly.

Loki surprised everyone when he launched into the next verse, Thor with his Mjolnir, and Strange reluctantly found himself humming and then singing the next time through (If an ancient god of trouble making could sing... why not him?).

Soon the entire van was laughing and singing joyously. Loki would deny finding mortal activities enjoyable, but his slight smirk gave him away.

 **Hi guys, I know I promised a log cabin (and believe me it's coming), just not yet. I couldn't fit it in the story and keep the story at a good quality. I could really use some ideas... What do you all find fun on long car rides? Any input and ideas would be terrific!**

 **I'd also like to give a massive thank you to Ariathestarrprincess who wrote part of and influenced this story tremendously.**


	3. Chapter 3

-Stark's Minivan-1:28-

"Who's hungry?" Tony chirped with a great big smile on his face.

"Stark..." Steve said warningly.

"What?" Iron man bat his dark lashes innocently at the Captain.

"Nooooooo!." Clint groaned. As he caught on. "Don't even suggest it!"

"But-"

"If you make us eat shawarma ONE MORE TIME!" Natasha seethed, glaring daggers at the billionaire.

"You'll what?" Tony snapped. "Please share, oh famous Black Widow. Oh! Is that why you always wear black? Hmm. You should seriously try like a pink, or maybe a nice sea foam green..."

"Я убью тебя. медленный...но до этого я позволю твоей девушке убить тебя за то, что ты идиот.Небеса знают, чего она хотела почти десять лет." she muttered, and Clint choked on his coffee. (I'll kill you. slowly, but before that I'll let your girlfriend kill you for being an idiot. Heaven knows that's what she has wanted to do for almost ten years.)

"I'm just going to pretend I understood that." Tony rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Yo, Jarvis? What's the closest burger joint?"

"There are four hamburger restaurants within five minutes of your current location. Would you like a list?"

Before Tony could answer, Loki laughed. "Obviously that voice is your Artificial Intelligence."

"Obviously?" Tony turned to look at him, letting Jarvis drive.

"Yes, mortal. 'Obviously.'" He observed the curious faces around him in some dark amusement. "Your Jarvis has the same accent as I do. Clearly that displays more intelligence than a mere human has. Since I have never known any mortal to be my equal in intelligence, it must be an artificial intelligence."

"Ooooooh!" Clint smirked, punching Loki on the shoulder (albeit a little harder than necessary) "Buuurn!"

Tony didn't miss a beat. "But I sorta created Jarvis. Thus, I am above Jarvis. Since you so Shakespearianly stated that you and Jarvis are equal," Tony faked a gasp. "You are apparently lower than me. But don't be offended. I'm just the smartest guy in the room."

"Double buuurn!" Clint sang, and the other avengers could hardly keep their smiles contained.

"Oh, yeah?" Stephen chuckled. "Then I'm above you all, because I'm a Ph.D, MD, and Master sorcerer. Stark is just a glorified hacker/mechanic. Without a doctor, he would've died of shrapnel."

"Oh, and pray tell how exactly you hurt your lovely little paws?" Tony pretended to think about this, while Strange glared. "Oh, yes! A machine! Darn it, too bad you didn't have your own personal AI to drive your oh-so-important rear to whatever it was you were going to."

Strange gave Tony a half-lidded look, and Peter pulled out his phone to record any further argument.

However, they were all thrown forward when the vehicle they were in stopped suddenly.

Peter's spider reflexes had him with one arm around his aunt (to protect her) and another arm around the super soldier (just because Peter felt a tad safer holding onto the legend) in a split second. Steve had grabbed Banner's collar, but the scientist' glasses still flew off his face. Loki hadn't moved a muscle, except a nearly-unnoticeable arm across Bruce who sat beside him. It was mainly due to this tiny movement that Banner hadn't gone flying forward.

Stephen's cloak had kept him in his seat, and to the sorcerer's irritation, said cloak had also found it necessary to wrap partly around Tony as well.

Only Nat and Clint were wise enough to have secured their seat belts beforehand.

"JARVIS!" Tony bellowed, swatting Stephen's cloak from his face. "WHAT THE-"

"Language!" Steve hissed, covering Peter's ears.

"I didn't say anything Rogers. But as I was saying before: JARVIS! WHY?"

He couldn't say for certain, but Tony was almost positive the AI sounded smug when he replied. "Terribly sorry about that. We're here, sir."

-Stan's Savory Stuff-1:34-

"What is this vile contraption?"

Loki sniffed in disgust, staring down at the greasy double cheeseburger. They were all scrunched into one booth at an unknown burger restaurant, and everyone else was eating their food.

"It's food, dude." Peter states with his mouth full. His brown eyes widened in horror as the god raised a jet-black eyebrow. "Um, I mean-"

"This is what mortals eat? No wonder you are so pathetic. I can hardly believe that you idiots call this," he gestured in disgust to the burger. "Sustenance. It's revolting."

"Yeah. And who tried to take over the world with an ARMY, and was stopped by six people? Oh, wait." Stephen strange rolled his eyes. "It was you!" He snorted out a laugh. "And Wong thought I was eccentric!"

Tony smiled widely at the sorcerer. "Well, apparently he was wong in his assumptions."

Stephen glared at him. "Don't..."

"Whaaat?" Tony snickered, poking Bruce with his elbow just in case he hadn't caught onto the joke. "Is something WONG?"

Bruce smiled faintly, and resumed eating his greasy meal.

"C'mon Loki." Rogers encouraged the newest avenger, trying to make him more comfortable. "Just try it."

Loki scrunched his nose at the burger again. "And you are sure this is fit for consumption?"

Clint shrugged. "Never said you should be eating it, or that it's healthy. We just said it's good."

"They're just trying to help you warm up to the team." May offered helpfully, patting Loki's hand.

A small smile cracked on Loki's face, then he started chuckling.

"It wasn't that funny." Steve said, confused. The blonde turned to the archer. "Was it?"

Clint shook his head, and Nat smiled along with Loki, getting the irony.

"I'm a Jotun." Loki chuckled.

Everyone just stared.

"And Lady May told me that you are trying to help me warm up..."

Banner was the first one to get it, and everyone stared in amazement as the curly-headed scientist burst out into laughter, his face turning red and tears forming in his eyes.

"Umm... did I miss something?" Tony wondered aloud.

Nat looked at Strange, and he looked at Loki. "Jotun." The doctor muttered, then smiled. "I get it."

Clint laughed as Nat whispered in his ear, and Peter's sensitive hearing caught onto her words, and he also started laughing.

Tony looked around, bewildered. "What is wrong with all of you?"

"Mr. Stark, a Jotun is a frost giant!" Peter giggled.

Tony rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the smile that slid onto his face. "Oh please. That isn't even that funny, Reindeer Games." He said, addressing Loki.

"It apparently is, considering that all of you are laughing. At something I said, to make it even stranger!" His grin didn't falter, but he did add under his breath: "and you're not trying to kill me anymore, either!"

 **Hi Darkwolfthewriter here, Another chapter come and gone, but this one wasn't me! This chapter was written by my partner (and fellow Loki fan) Ariathestarrprincess. We are super excited so many have decided to read this story.**

 **We would love to get more ideas from all of our readers out there, so if anything comes to you guys please let us know!**


	4. Chapter 4

-8:34 pm-

"How about that one?" Steve suggested, pointing to the flashing neon sign that read "Motel 5".

"Please tell me you're kidding me." Tony said dryly, speeding past the sign. "That is a literal step down from Motel 6, so I'm assuming that there are confirmed murders in motel 5."

"Auuunt May..." Peter moans, and May worriedly placed a slim hand on her nephew's forehead, checking his temperature, and her brows furrowed even more.

"What the-"

"AH-hem!" Steve cleared his throat loudly, cutting May off.

"Peter, you have a fever!" May screeched.

"What?!" Tony yelled and turned completely around, abandoning the steering wheel.

Nat yelled in Russian before leaning over and grabbing the wheel, steering wildly out of the incoming traffic while switching through multiple languages with her descriptions of Tony's stupidity.

The billionaire paid the redhead no mind, his face lined with worry.

"Jarvis, scan the kid."

A blue light appeared from the ceiling of the vehicle and scanned the teenager.

"Mr Parker has a fever of approximately 104.6 degrees Fahrenheit. I would recommend immediate cooling procedures." The AI said calmly.

"Jarvis, locate the nearest Hilton."

"The nearest Hilton hotel is 34 minutes away." Jarvis replied.

"Okay, J. Punch it."

"WHAT?" May screeched.

"Well, we need to get him somewhere where we can treat him!" Tony yelled back.

"WATCH YOUR TONE!" May snapped.

Tony flinched away from the angry woman, as did everyone else in the vehicle.

"Miss Romanoff, turn around and go back to that motel." May ordered.

Natasha, the battle-hardened, espionage agent who always did exactly what she pleased, decided that she'd rather face four thousand Russian Cossacks than the anger of this surprisingly scary little woman.

"Nat, don't you dare!" Tony growled. "I am the one in charge here, and I will say where we go!"

May leveled her heated gaze on the billionaire, and Tony flinchingly stared back.

'This is one time I'm not going to back down.' He thought smugly.

-8:36 pm at Motel 5-

The clerk stared with fish eyes at Tony, who was drumming his fingers on the sticky reception desk with impatience.

"W-what?" The rodent-looking man stuttered as he gasped at the billionaire.

"I didn't stutter, unlike some." Tony rolled his eyes. "I said; 'I'll-take-all-the-roooooms!' " He enunciated slowly.

"R-right Mr Stark." The shaken employee gulped.

"Oh, and hurry it up, would you? I've got a sick kid here, who needs his rest."

The receptionist nodded quickly, stringy hair bouncing.

Steve pulled Tony back by the shoulder.

"All the rooms? Isn't that a little... extravagant?"

Tony scoffed in derision. "Extravagant is my middle name, Capsicle."

Loki rolled his eyes as he listened to the men talk. "Really? I thought it was 'weakling', or 'inferior'. Surely those would fit you better."

"Says the guy who was abandoned as a baby, and kicked off his adopted planet."

"Anthony Edward Stark! You apologize right now!" May said, glaring up at the man, fists on her hips.

"But he started it!" Tony whined, pointing at Loki.

The god of mischief smirked. "Do as the lady says, mortal."

"You too Loki!" May turned her glare on the frost giant. "Both of you are acting like infants!"

"While, ironically, the only person able to be classified as an infant has a 104.6 fever and won't stop blabbing about how his senses are overloading." Dr strange said dryly from his crouching position next to Peter.

"He needs to be cooled down ASAP." Bruce said, placing a cool rag on the teen's sweaty face.

Nat frowned, and looked up at Clint. "You thinking what I'm thinking?" She asked the archer.

He nodded. "Yo, Loki! Care to help us for a sec?"

Loki looked from Clint to Natasha. He caught onto their train of thought and rolled his eyes, uncrossing his arms as he walked quietly over to them.

"Does your child require my assistance?"

"Um, he's not my kid." Clint said with a chuckle.

Loki frowned and looked from Nat to Peter.

"But she is the mother spider, and he is her child. Is the Doctor the father then?"

Both Dr Strange and Dr Banner both sputtered and started laughing until the red-haired assassin silenced them with a glare. They both grew pink in the face, and were suddenly VERY interested in their patient.

"He's not my kid." Natasha said nonchalantly. "But he needs to cool down, or he could get even worse."

Loki nodded, and walked toward the teen, surprising everyone by wrapping the surprised boy in a large hug.

"Erm, did I miss like, some major bonding between my least favorite villain and prodigy?" Tony asked, looking at the awkward embrace.

"He's cooling the kid down, Tony." Steve muttered.

"Oh. Well, in that case-"

"Mr Stark?" The shaken employee squeaked.

Tony whirled around. "WHAT?"

"Um, we only have two rooms available."

Tony opened his mouth to protest that they should open more for the one and only Tony Stark, when Natasha cut him off.

"Perfect. Girls get one room, guys get the other." She leveled her gaze on Tony and Steve, as if daring them to object. "RIGHT?"

They all turned to Loki; the Jotun had closed his eyes in concentration. When they opened, everyone was met with crimson red eyes. His skin had begun to pale even more until he was blue, and then dark blue. The Avengers had known he was a frost giant, but none of the group had actually seen him as one.

Peter shuddered as the cold enveloped him, and began shivering so hard his teeth chattered.

"This is good. Just stay like that for a minute." Bruce sighed.

Loki tried to pretend he was anywhere but hugging the teenager with spider powers.

-Motel 5-8:40 P.M.-

"'We'll take it' she says..." Tony growled under his breath.

"Quit whining ,Stark." Loki spat from his reclined position on the arm chair.

"There's six of us, and Peter can't sleep on the floor." Tony's gaze fell on the youngest member of the group, who was laying on the bed, looking rather pale and sluggish.

"Tony, it is what it is. I was in way worse situations during the war: bunkers, fox holes, tents… The point is you have a lot to be grateful for." Steve snapped at the hotheaded billionaire .

Strange rubbed his temples, and Clint was sorting through the extra blankets and pillows that had been brought to them.

Bruce had left the room after the fight had erupted, concerned that he would turn an unwanted shade of green.

"M'sorry." Peter muttered from the bed. Tony pinched the bridge of nose, more out of guilt than anything.

"Not you're fault underoos. Just get some rest." Tony shrugged.

Rising from his seat, Loki straitened his jacket and stalked towards the door.

"Where are _you_ going?" Strange called after him.

"For some air, as you mortals would say." Loki called over his shoulder as he pulled the hotel door open.

Strange took a step in his direction, but Rogers grabbed his arm, shaking his head.

"Let him go. In the off chance he does run, I'll be able to track him." The super soldier assured.

That statement peaked Strange's curiosity, but Rogers didn't offer more of an explanation.

The warm air lapped at Loki's gold engraved jacket as he stood on the porch that connected all the rooms.

Leaning on the railing, Loki took in the surroundings. This Motel was in the middle of nowhere, as forest encased the small building in all directions.

A creak signified another door opening.

Slight surprise overtook the god of mischief as May Parker leaned on the rail to his right.

"Thank you. Thank you for helping Peter." She smiled.

"You must think I'm a monster." Loki pointed out.

"Why would I think that?" May asked ,slight surprise seeping into her face.

"Most of my people probably would. The Frost Giants are either feared or hated on Asgard, and my real father, a Frost giant, abandoned me due to my small size when I was a baby." May's eyes widened as Loki shrugged.

"And you just accepted that? That- That's not right!"

"You saw just what I _can_ do; Lady May, have you already forgotten New York?"

"No, but that bothers me. I can't believe that someone, would attack and kill innocent people, and then without hesitation help someone they barely knew. There's more to what happened than we know, isn't there?"

"Th-That's none of your concern." Loki shuddered, before turning his back and walking away.

Unbeknownst to either of them, a third party had witnessed the exchange from the shadows.

Back in the room, Bruce had piled blankets in the bath tub and claimed it as his own. Tony was sleeping on the floor on one side of the bed, Strange was on the other, Loki had claimed the futon, Peter was still on the bed, Clint was on the top shelf of the closet (for some dumb reason nobody remembered) , and Steve slept on the arm chair.

The Tv had been turned on and everyone was doing something that didn't involve trying to verbally maim each other. Strange was reading a book on spells for novices; he had made a mental note to thank Wong for slipping it in his bag.

"How many times have you read that?" Loki asked from his spot on the futon.

"Six." Was the absent reply.

Humming Loki stared down at the Asgardian spell book he had been flipping through.

Strange's eyes were torn from the pages as the book was yanked off his lap. He shot Loki a glare as he trickster looked it over.

"What are you-?" He didn't get a chance to finish as the Asgardian spell book was roughly dropped on his lap.

"I've read that one ten times." The Trickster yawned.

Strange considered shooting back some sort of response, but then considered the value of reading a spell book from the libraries of Asgard. Sighing, he opened the first page, and used a spell to help him understand the foreign language.

"Thanks." He muttered under his breath, hoping Loki hadn't heard it.

The slight grin across Loki's face suggested that indeed he had.

Clint sat hunched over a computer, a frown on his lips.

"Clint, What's up?" Asked Tony from his nest of blankets as he tinkered with one of his gloves,

"Just a project..." The archer shrugged without looking up.

"What kind of project?" The inventor was met with silence. "Fine don't tell me; I didn't want to know anyway." Tony pouted.

"Alright time for supper!" Natasha shouted as she kicked the door open with her foot and walked in ,followed closely by a surprised May.

"Natasha! I have to pay for any doors you break!" Tony yelped.

She shrugged and dropped four brown paper bags down on the table.

Supper was eaten in silence before the group settled down for the night. In a couple hours everyone had dozed off, in rather funny positions. Loki had the spell book on his face, Strange was cuddling the cloak of Levitation (he would be annoyed about it and deny it later), tony was wearing his glove (which honestly looked more like scrap metal), Clint was curled up on the top shelf with a teddy bear (only Nat knew about that aspect), and the others were sleeping somewhat normally... well as normal as things can be with a guy sleeping in the tub and another over the edge of an arm chair, but oh well.

At some point in the night the door creaked open and closed again a few minutes later.

-Motel 6, Men's room- 6:27 A.M.-

"It's not coming off!" Everyone awoke to Steve Roger's angry exclamation from the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" Strange asked Stark who was hovering at the bathroom door.

The question was answered as Rogers exited the bathroom. His lips were cherry red, his eyes had been heavily highlighted by dark black eyeliner, he was sporting heavy blue eye shadow, and the mascara on his eyelashes only added to the awkwardness.

Loki burst into laughter and nearly toppled off the futon he was sitting on.

The captain glared daggers at him.

"Did you do this?" He all but shouted, mentally counting to keep from quite possibly blowing up as he stalked towards the trickster.

"No!" Loki shook his head as he fell backwards to escape Rogers. "I had nothing to do with this!"

Of course Rogers didn't buy it. This was Loki after all, a being with such a reputation that he was even known in the mortal world for his tricks.

The door opened as Natasha and May walked in. Somehow Nat had found a way to access the room without a key.

No surprise.

They both stood stunned. Rogers was towering over Loki who literally had his back to the wall as everyone else stood back with either grins or grimaces on their faces (mostly grins). May poked Clint who had a rather wry smile on his face. He turned to face her, and she scowled. "How dare you let that poor man take the fall for our prank?" She whispered so only the people near could hear.

"Well I don't see _you_ doing anything. Besides this is Loki, no one will believe him." Clint pointed out.

"You tell him, or I will." May warned. Clint rubbed his face and sighed. Admittedly he had let the girls in late last night, and admittedly he was pretty good with makeup, but why not let Loki take the fall?

Right, Aunt May took responsibility for her actions.

"Please." Loki whimpered. "Do you honestly think I could apply whatever is on your face with such accuracy?" The question was rhetorical. Of course he couldn't; Loki was good at a lot of things, but Rogers debated the fact, that Loki's total one month on earth (mostly during and right after the attack on New York) would give him enough time to learn much less practice the intricacies of makeup application.

Rogers turned his back to Loki, and faced the small group.

"Who was it?" He snapped.

The Spectators had heard May's words to Clint; thus Peter, Banner, and Strange all stepped away from the actual guilty party.

Clint gulped and Loki let out a sigh of relief.

"Okay, I'm never going to live this down. Now can I have some makeup remover , _please?_ " Rogers asked with his arms crossed.

"Nope!" Natasha shouted, snapping a picture on her phone and darting out of the room with May and Clint in tow.

Rogers scowled, walked into the bathroom, and then slammed and locked the door.

Loki knew today would be a disaster.

 **Howdy, Darkwolf here. Once again thanks to Ariathestarrprincess for her ideas and input. In the future (Because Aria is a co-author) any of her work will be marked in stars. (ex.) *Aria's Work* so be on the lookout for more of her work in upcoming chapters, and thanks again for reading and for the reviews we have received so far, they are very encouraging to both of us!**


	5. Chapter 5

*The day wasn't nearly as bad as Loki had predicted. It would have been, however, if he wouldn't have been in the comfortable new clothes that May had given him. At first he thought it a juvenile notion that simple mortal clothes could make a day better, but it actually did.

At first the trickster had protested against the earth clothes so much that All the Avengers had grown tired of the constant quarreling, that Bruce had threatened to let the Hulk out if Loki didn't comply with the change in wardrobe choices. The simple green tee-shirt, jeans, and black hoodie were surprisingly comfortable, especially paired with the sneakers, although Loki would never admit it. May had chosen dark colors, and had complimented Loki on his 'new' appearance until he was uncomfortable with the attention, and suddenly happy that he didn't have to be the king over the fashion-obsessed 21st century Earth. The man-bun May suggested to do was too much for the poor Jotun, and he had fled in terror before she could touch his hair.

Everyone was wearing casual clothes, and the only sign of any superheroie-ness was the levitating backpack that followed Dr Strange around.

Steve stayed In the back of the vehicle, with dark eyeliner and blush still heavily coated on his face, and his cherry red lips turned down in an eternal frown. Loki rolled his eyes at the drama. You could almost FEEL the righteous indignation rolling off the supersoldier.

Peter was completely better. Apparently his spidey senses had overloaded, and short-circuited his brain for a few hours, giving him a fever. After a full night's sleep, the energetic teen was- to most of the Avengers' annoyance- 100% back to his usual self.

Thus the van was silent for a while, with Steve sulked In the corner, while Peter played a video game on his phone with headphones in to avoid another overload. Bruce appeared to be sleeping with a notebook clutched to his chest like a teddy bear, Clint was tinkering with an electric arrow, and Tony was engrossed with the hologram of a new supercomputer processor that he was currently trying to hack.

Dr Strange and Loki had even stopped harassing each other for the time being. I kid you not; they didn't snap at each other for a whole five minutes.

Then; the silence was broken.

"You know I could just open a portal with my sling ring and we could be a our destination within two seconds, right?" Steven muttered from his position next to Loki.

"But that defies the point of the bonding experience." May objected, frowning at him over her glasses in the rear view mirror. At the start of the day, Both of the women had decided to sit up front, and, as they put it: "leave the children in the back."

Strange groaned impatiently and stared at the ceiling of the van. "Bonding? Whyyyyyy?"

"Wasn't my idea, Dr Abnormal."

Tony sniffed, pulling his hood up. Apparently the genius had already finished his hack, and was just waiting for Jarvis to set all the language settings on the Russian supercomputer to the Wakandan dialect. Since he couldn't just use google translate for the remote language, Jarvis had to hack the advanced Wakandan computers for the language while simultaneously downloading it onto the Russian computer, essentially switching the languages of both to the other's. The chaos that would undoubtedly follow would've made the god of mischief proud. One might even say that Tony Stark lived for the sole purpose of being a nuisance.

Loki raised an eyebrow. "I thought this 'road trip' was your idea, Man of Iron."

Tony facepalmed then grabbed at the air like he could strangle it. "Dude. It's IRON-MAN." He enunciated. "Please tell me you're slightly more intelligent than your blonde brother and can get that itty-bitty, apparently super-difficult name straight."

"Of course I possess a higher intelligence than that of my br-" Loki coughed, catching himself before he said 'brother'. May frowned at him in the rearview mirror, which the Jotun decided to pointedly ignore until the small woman stopped. "I mean, Thor can't do magic, can he?" Loki sniffed.

"No, but he can pick up Mjolnir." Clint said lazily.

Loki rolled his eyes. "Right."

"Although he couldn't the first time I saw him." The archer muttered to himself.

"Yup, great bonding time. I'm really FEELIN THE LOVE!" Strange said sarcastically, and silently put on his sling ring.

Loki saw the movement, and gave him a warning look as if to say; "I wouldn't"

Strange ignored him, and suddenly raised his hands, creating a sparking portal right in front of the moving car.

May squealed in shock, and turned to glare at the sorcerer.

"Steven. No." May snapped, and Nat drove wildly around the portal. The jerky motions of the car bar everyone sliding around, and Clint just calmly ducked under Strange's backpack that came flying toward his head, impacting the window where his head had just been with a resounding 'thud'.

Strange harrumphed and crossed his arms, but didn't take off his sling ring.

"Peter." May called, but he didn't hear his aunt over the headphones.

"PETER PARKER!"

The teen jumped so high that he hit his head on the top of the car. "Y-yes Aunt May?" Peter yelped as he pulled the headphones out of his ears, his brown eyes wide.

"Give me Dr Strange's sling ring, please."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow at the boy, as if in a challenge.

Peter gulped and stared with big eyes at the sorcerer.

"But-" he squeaked, and was quickly silenced with a glare.

"Now."

Dr Strange smirked. "Yeah. Try it, kid." He held out his hand towards the boy, taunting.

"For the love of-" Bruce shocked everyone by reaching out and snatching the ring away from a very surprised Dr Strange.

He glared at all the people in the van. "I'm trying to sleep, so stop fighting." He grumbled grouchily, and Tony draped an arm around the scientist's shoulders.

"But that isn't fun, Brucie. Nothing right now is fun. Even hacking King Kitten's computers in Wakanda wasn't very fun."

Steve raised a blonde eyebrow at that statement, and Tony shrugged. "He should choose a better password than 'BLACKPANTHERWARRIOR#1'. Like: really?" Tony rubbed his face, and smiled mischievously at his fellow scientist. "C'mon. Just let the Hulk out and we'll have a truly entertaining time."

Bruce rolled his eyes. "No. If I had a wish to maim someone or be maimed myself, I would just tell Nat that she's a terrible driver, which she is."

The van went silent, everyone aghast at Bruce's apparent madness.

Clint was the only one who took cover, preparing for the impending attack.

It never came.

"Oh really?" Nat actually sounded slightly amused, and everyone relaxed. "And here I thought I was a fantastic driver. But maybe anything faster than a snail is considered bad driving to your moody highness?"

May laughed loudly, and Clint slowly sat up straight again.

Hawkeye grabbed Bruce's face and turned him to look at him, releasing him after a second. "Wow, Bruce. I thought Mr Bluey over here had taken control of your mind. Because that was about the dumbest thing you could've said."

Bruce swatted the archer's hands away, and grumbled something incoherent about being 'surrounded by immaturity'.

"Tony, get off your high horse and act like an adult for once!" Strange snapped.

"Many people have told me to do that, but it never works."

"Ill keep asking until it does."

Bruce groaned loudly and pointedly stuck a large pair of headphones over his ears, blocking out the sounds of the men quarreling.

"You know, according to Einstein, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." Tony said factually.

"I hate you." Strange hissed.

"Aww, I love you too!"

Loki joined the barrage of insults. "You mortals are-"

"Pathetic?" Tony guessed. "You overuse that word, bro. Iron Man always has a new insult ready."

"And you overuse the fact that you're iron man."

"Street magician." Tony fired back at Strange.

"Yeah, keep talking Tin Can."

"Cripple."

"Muggle."

"You are kidding me."

"You wish."

"Children." Loki groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose in irritation.

"Idiots." Stark snapped.

"Salted Slugs."

...

Everyone turned to look at Clint. "What? I read it somewhere and thought that insult deserved to be used."

"You-"

"I KNOW!" May squealed in delight, clapping her hands. "How about we play the alphabet game?"

Loki groaned and put his head in his hands. "Just kill me now."

"Gladly." Tony whispered back, smiling charmingly at May.

"Child."

"You already used that one." Clint chuckled derisively.

"Shut up, Barton."

Loki and Tony hissed in unison.*

 **Hiya ladies and gentlemen. Chapter 5 is hot off the press; what did you guys think? This is so much fun for both Aria and I, and we hope you have as much fun reading this as we do writing. Thank you all for reading this, and we hope you have a terrific weekend!**


	6. Chapter 6

-Stark's minivan-9:23 A.M.-

Soft snoring emanated from the back seat. Loki had somehow managed to doze off despite being surrounded by his former enemies and forced teammates. He wasn't sure when he become so exhausted, perhaps it had been cooling down Parker, or maybe he was just a little stressed from being bullied into this by his bro- no Thor. Why was it so hard to remember, that Thor wasn't his brother?

He had dozed off at some point ,and Clint had decided to be mean (of course).

"Hey check this out!" Clint whisper yelled from the back seat.

All eyes (minus May who was driving and Peter who was sleeping as well) turned to look at the archer. He was holding a brown plastic bag filled with air over Loki's head and had a hand ready to smack it.

He didn't give anyone a chance to object to his rather stupid stunt, and it burst open with a loud pop.

Well needless to say, chaos ensued.

May lurched in shock causing the car to swerve, and Peter jumped ,hitting his head on the ceiling and leaving a large dent behind.

Loki had paled to an unnatural color, shouting "Thanos!" as he woke up, shot forward, and instinctively gripped Clint's neck.

Clint coughed and sputtered as he tried to get through to the obviously terrified Jotun.

"Let him go ,Loki!" Steve shouted, grabbing Loki's arm. The super-soldier had tried to look authoritative , but due to the makeup plastered on his face, the image was totally ruined.

Loki's eyes focused, and he realized that he was clutching Clint, not Tha- _Him_."

He let go and rubbed his eyes; color working it's way back into his face.

Clint coughed and gasped as air entered his lungs; it took him a minute to recover but once he did, there was only one question on his mind.

"W-who's Than-nos?" He gasped, rubbing a hand over his sore neck.

" _That_ is none of your business , _Mortal_." Loki growled angrily. The car settled back into an uneasy silence, and no one said anything for a few minutes.

"Can we never do that again?" Peter hoarsely asked rubbing his head.

"Sorry, that was meant for reindeer games!" Clint protested, receiving a smirk from Strange.

Loki scowled and looked out the window.

So much for relaxing.

"Aunt May! I need to use the bathroom!" Peter shouted.

May shook her head with a smile, and spotted the sign for a mall.

-Margret's Mini mall-9:33-

Nat growled in frustration as the van sputtered and died.

"I honestly don't know what's wrong! It was working fine a few minutes ago!" Tony shouted, his voice muffled from under the hood.

Loki stood massaging the bridge of his nose. Could nothing go right? They had arrived at the mall ,and upon returning from the restrooms, Nat had decided to drive. Everyone got in, but the van now refused to start.

"Well, Ms. Parker was the last to touch it. Maybe she should fix it!" Clint snorted. "Ow!" Suddenly yelping as Natasha smacked him upside the back of the head.

Loki took the liberty to glare at Clint; he was still mad about the bag incident from earlier, and May was one of the few people who actually _tried_ to be nice to him.

"Well," Tony sighed. "We're going to be here for a bit; why don't you all go look around the mall and meet back up here in an hour?" There were nods of agreements, and people started picking partners.

Abruptly turning on his heel, Loki didn't care if he was followed, he just wanted some space from his _team._

Short quick steps emanated from behind him, and before he had time to fully process it, Peter Parker was at his side.

"Um- mind if I join you?" Peter asked nervously. He had only heard of this guy up until yesterday, and getting on Loki's bad list was an obvious no-no.

Loki shrugged, so Peter stayed.

They walked in silence past windows displaying various wares. Finally Peter had to ask a question that had been bothering for a while now.

"I um, have a question. It's kinda weird, but I've been wondering for a while." Peter asked in one breath.

"Very well, if you insist." Loki didn't make eye contact, but nodded.

"So last year in school, I had to write a paper on you and Thor. Well, the Norse mythology stories of you at least." Loki raised an amused eyebrow, but said nothing. "Anyway, I read a couple, but one that caught my attention was one about a giant stealing Thor's hammer, and in order to get it back, Freya had to marry the giant who took it. She wouldn't, so Thor dressed up as the bride and you as the...bridesmaid." Peter squeaked. Loki was staring at him Flabbergasted.

After a minute, Loki schooled his features and waited for Peter to continue.

"Anyway, before the wedding... the hammer was given to Thor acting as Freya, and Thor destroyed everyone..."

Loki literally couldn't keep himself from bursting into laughter.

"H-how many of those _legends_ have you read?" He managed to choke out despite his roaring laughter. "That _never_ happened! Though I'd give almost anything to have witnessed it. Imagine my brother in a wedding dress! He couldn't quite fool anyone anymore." Loki chuckled, remembering that Thor now had short hair.

"Yeah, well, I was curious." Peter shrugged.

"I'm curious about reading more of these fables." Loki snorted.

Peter stopped and grabbed Loki's arm. Surprised by the kid's strength, Loki didn't put up much of a fight as the kid dragged him towards a small bookshop they had just passed.

Loki hung back as Peter was talked to the clerk, a smile across his face. Nodding, the clerk took a book off the shelf, and bagged it up for the teenager.

As Loki approached the counter, the Clerk eyed him for a minute. He was a little older than Peter with slick blond hair and stubby facial hair.

"Have I seen you somewhere before?" The guy asked Loki.

"No, I don't believe you have." Loki quickly shook his head.

"Yeah, yeah I have! Where have I -"

Yanking the clerk by the collar halfway over the counter until he was an inch from the Loki's face, the trickster spoke in a low, frosty voice. "I can _assure_ you, that you haven't seen me before. And if you have… You will say nothing of it."

The clerk nodded wide eyed and then shrank away (or tried to; the counter wasn't too far from the wall). Peter had been oblivious to the entire situation and was looking through the book he just bought with his back turned.

Surprise registered across Loki's face, as the book was thrust into his hands. _Norse Mythology for Dummies_ was plastered on its front cover.

"For Dummies?" Loki asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Um… Sorry?" Peter tried wincing.

 _ **Maybe when it comes to ancient Norse mythology, I am a dummy… What in the nine realms am I Thinking?**_ Loki shook his head to clear the thought.

They walked through the mall chatting a little more openly than before, about a broad range of topics: science, magic, myths, and more. Loki discovered Peter had a good handle on science, much like Stark or Banner.

Finally it was time to return to the car.

-Stark's Minivan-10:37 A.M.-

Tony wiped the sweat from his brow and leaned back in satisfaction. The van was purring like a kitten, and it was getting hotter by the minute. They needed to get out of here.

"You look ridiculous ,Stark." Loki stated from right behind the billionaire. Tony jumped a mile, smacking his head against the hood of the van.

"Ow, Loki!" Tony snapped.

Loki was sipping a smoothie, for that matter, so was Peter.

Peter let out a yelp and nearly dropped his smoothie as he clutched his head. "Brain Freeze!" He shouted.

"There are many advantages to being a frost giant, and one of them? Immunity to brain freeze." Loki smiled.

Peter just rolled his eyes.

Tony raised an eyebrow. Was it possible that these two would actually become friends?

 **Hi, Darkwolf here. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! We are seriously appreciating the reviews. Also Merry Early Christmas! We hope you all have an absolutely wonderful Christmas! Also our poor brains have decided to go on strike. We will be continuing this story some time in January... That means a cliff hanger right? MWAHAHAHAHA  
**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Mine!"

"No! It's MINE!"

"I had it first!"

"Wrong again! IT WAS MINE IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"You can't even understand how it works!"

"Says who?"

"Says me!"

"Don't make me pull over!"

"I thought you already had, Grampa! You know that you can drive FASTER THAN A SNAIL!"

"I'm being safe."

"Safe shmafe. Punch it, old man!"

"I'll punch YOU if you don't shut up soon!"

"You wish you could."

"I punched Red Skull. And he was actually enhanced."

"He was also a failed experiment."

"So what am I, then?"

"The same."

"Your father thought differently."

"I don't care."

Steve glared in the rearview mirror at the man-child known as Tony Stark. They had been fighting for the last half-hour over who was the better driver, who was better with weapons, and basically everything else that came to mind.

The rest of the occupants in the van were trying their best to avoid the fight. Well, all except one.

Bruce had in large headphones, and he had the volume turned up so loud that you could hear the opera music throughout the van.

Loki and Strange were actually having a rather civil conversation about the use of magic while traveling through a wormhole between worlds. Of course, no one else in the van knew this, because they were on the roof of the van in their astral forms, conversing without having to hear the bickering below.

Peter was wearing his Spider-Man mask with his laptop out, and was typing away at the lines of green code that fell down the screen while listening to 80's music that Karen was playing to block out other sounds.

May had large orange foam earplugs in her ears, and was shopping online with the credit card Natasha had given her. (Actually, it was the same credit card that Nat had pick-pocketed from Tony earlier. But she hadn't told May that.)

Barton had his head pressed against the window, and was snoozing silently, having taken out his hearing aids.

Natasha was the only one listening to the fight, while sitting in the front seat next to Steve, and she was assisting him every once in a while in his fight against Tony. She gave suggestions for name-calling, and once or twice she had made the billionaire yelp with a well-aimed kick at his face.

Tony glared back at the makeup-free Captain, crossing his hands over his chest like a toddler.

"You're an infant." Steve snorted derisively.

"Popsicle."

"Flirt."

"Senior citizen."

"Jerk."

"Iced Americano."

"Tin Can."

"Midget?" Nat suggested mildly, and Steve nodded, quickly firing the insult to Tony.

They continued on in this way, while on the roof of the car, Strange and Loki had moved onto the topic of interdimentional teleportation.

"I'm telling you. The sling ring is the fastest way to travel between dimensions." Stephen insisted.

Loki rolled his eyes. "And I'm saying that a more precise way is to use magic in its purest form, controlling it merely with thought."

"It's more dangerous."

"Not if you have enough control."

"How long did it take for you to gain enough control?"

"It wasn't long after I was taught magic."

Strange raised an eyebrow. "That's not an answer."

Loki smirked. "On the contrary. It IS an answer. Just not the one you wanted."

Strange snorted a laugh, and Loki chuckled.

"By the answer you wanted is approximately 100 years. That's how long it took for me to master magic."

The earth magician looked sideways at the fallen Asgardian prince.

"Huh. You know, besides being a psychopathic alien bent on ruling the human race, you're not such a bad guy as I had thought."

Loki raised a black eyebrow. "I'm assuming that is a compliment."

Strange shrugged. "It's probably as close to a compliment that you'll get from me." He shifted to where his substanceless legs hung in the van, same as Loki.

"Who taught you magic?"

Loki stiffened. "That is none of your business, mortal." He growled softly.

Strange huffed and rolled his eyes. "Yeesh! I was just asking!"

They stayed silent for a while.

"Frigga."

Loki muttered her name so quietly that Strange doubted that he had even spoken.

"What?"

Loki looked out over the landscape that was rushing past and sighed, sticking his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. "My mother, Frigga, taught me how to use magic. She could conjure any form she wished with just a flick of her thoughts, project herself placed she was nowhere near, and enter people's minds without them noticing."

Sensitivity was never Stephen's forte, but for some reason the master sorcerer knew that tact was required in this situation.

"She sounds like an amazing woman." Strange offered not kindly, but not unkindly.

Loki nodded absentmindedly. "She was."

Stephen knew that he shouldn't pursue this topic anymore, so he switched to something more comfortable for both of them.

"Well, is that how you were taught to fight? I mean, Thor uses more..." Stephen cleared his throat. "Brute force in his fighting habits."

Loki let out a low chuckle. "Yes, Frigga taught me that even if I couldn't best my opponent in strength, I could in cunning."

"That's deception." Stephen pointed out.

Loki shrugged. " _All warfare is based on deception."_

"D-did you just quote 'The Art Of War'?" Stephen sputtered.

The god of mischief smirked. "Indeed... many of the things in that book refer to how I fought Thor. Such as: _'if [your opponent] is superior in strength, evade him. If your opponent is of caloric temper, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant.'"_

The master sorcerer looked at the trickster with what appeared to be slight admiration. "Huh. When did you ever read 'The Art Of War'?"

Loki shrugged. "I had many reading weeks in my cell on Asgard."

They were silent for a while, both thinking over what they had spoken of.

"Well! I'm going back to my body and am going to join Tony and Steve's fight. Care to join?"

The Jotun smirked. "Absolutely." He paused, his tone returning to the regular cold one he used. "Were still not friends, mortal." He said warningly.

Stephen scrunched his nose, like the very idea of a friendship smelled bad. "Definitely not. We're just magicians who we're tired of being around the muggles." He winked, knowing Loki wouldn't get the reference. "Now let's go!"

They fell through the roof, and entered back into their bodies just as it was Tony's turn to insult Steve.

"-and don't forget that my dad made you what you are!"

Steve rolled his eyes. "No, Dr. Erskine made me what I am. Learn your history, playboy."

"Oh, I know my history VERY well, thank you!"

"Your welcome, although I have no idea what you're thanking anyone for!" Strange said, clapping his hands. "What did we miss?"

Nat looked over her shoulder at him. "WE?"

Loki shifted to get more comfortable. "Yes, Dr Strange and I had some discussions about magic while waiting for these two children to sort out their petty differences." He yawned as if it should have been obvious.

"Uh, where? You two have been sleeping!" Tony objected.

"To the untrained, unevolved eye, yes, it would appear that we were 'sleeping' while our spirit forms exited our bodies so we could avoid the noise of two idiots fighting over insignificant tidbits of their pathetic lives." Loki said pointedly.

Strange smirked. "Couldn't have put it better myself."

Nat rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"Tony, you have terrible taste in vehicles." Steve growled, glaring at the dashboard in front of him.

Tony scoffed. "No I don't! Have you SEEN my garage?"

"The Captain has a point, Stark. This thing you call a 'van' has stopped producing explosions in its center." Loki informed the genius as the van slowed.

"Whaaat?" Tony whined, unclipping his seatbelt and scrambling over Steve to look at the dashboard readouts as well.

Steve cleared his throat annoyedly as he rolled his shoulder, pushing Tony back.

Tony was happy for the distraction though. Without being able to use his extensive list of profanities, he had gotten bored with the yelling match. "Jarvis, have another van bought at once."

"Yes sir. Any specifications?" The AI asked from the ceiling.

The small billionaire looked with venom at Strange, Loki and Steve. "Yeah. Make it a greyhound. A special Stark Greyhound. And make it fast."

"Yes sir."

-2 hours later-

The greyhound had arrived mere minutes after Tony asked for it, and soon seating arrangements were doled out in groups of three rows each.

Clint and Nat got the very back rows, May sat right in front of them, Peter sat right in front of her, and Loki shared his rows with the small teen since May saw the opportunity of friendship between the two. Bruce and Tony occupied the next row, and the Ste(ph/v)ens took the front rows.

No one drove at the moment, because apparently the 'Stark Greyhounds' came with self-driving programming. And currently Jarvis was driving.

"Aaah! Why didn't I think of this before?" Tony sighed loudly, falling dramatically onto Bruce.

Bruce yelped at the contact, and carefully peeled the billionaire off of him. "Yes, Tony. It's a good idea. Now unless you want to be seeing a lot of green really soon, I'd suggest you stop pestering me."

Tony grinned devilishly, and jumped on the curly-haired scientist, wrapping him in a bear hug. "But I looooove you, Brucie!" He squealed in a high girly voice.

Bruce swallowed his smile, and looked helplessly at the other Avengers.

Loki wasn't smiling, (big surprise), although his deep green eyes twinkled with humor. Steve bit back his own smile for Bruce's sake, but the others all laughed at Tony's childish antics. Despite his obvious narcissistic attitude, people always seemed to like Tony.

"Fine. If you don't get off me, I won't tell you Steve's recipe for chocolate cake, and Pepper won't get her birthday wish." Bruce bantered.

Tony snarled and reluctantly relinquished his hold on the smug scientist.

"Fine. But since we have entered this charming state," he motioned with a hand out the window, where a large green sign read 'WELCOME TO TENNESSEE'. "I need to visit a friend."

Strange groaned and Steve patted his shoulder sympathetically.

-1:38 hours later-

"Tony, is this really necessary?" Clint whined as the greyhound wound down the streets of the small town.

Nat smacked the back of the archer's head, and he rubbed it with a scowl at the Russian.

"Clint, Tony seems a little emotional right now. I think that this 'friend' is really important to him." May elaborated to him, who still was glaring at the unaffected Natasha.

"And why should I care?" Barton hissed.

"Because Pepper says Tony has been depressed since the whole 'Siberia' incident, and she said that anyone who objects to something that will emotionally help Tony, such as visiting a friend, will have to answer directly to her." Natasha said, and Barton paled at the last part.

So you know how everyone has this unspoken, unfounded fearful respect for May? Well, they have a very spoken, very founded respect and fear for Pepper Potts. As William Congreve once said: "Hell hath no fury like an angry Pepper Potts." (I'm paraphrasing here, but you get the point.)

Anyway, that shut Clint up for the time being, and even he joined the other curious Avengers as they unboarded the bus in the front of a rather small house.

"Tony?" Steve asked quietly, looking at the house.

"Yes, dear?" The genius replied loudly.

Steve crossed his patriotic arms while adjusting his patriotic stance and shooting Tony a patriotic glare. "Does your 'friend' know we're coming?"

Tony stayed quiet, and the whole team (minus Peter), groaned collectively.

"Well, he likes surprises!" Tony defended.

Bruce sat on the curb with his face in his hands. "Tony. This is gonna be quite the 'surprise'." He said, voice muffled through his hands.

"Nah, all the Avengers showing up at your doorstep? That won't be surprising AT ALL!" Stephen said sarcastically.

"Does he even live here any more?" Nat demanded.

Tony nodded vigorously, glad to finally have a good answer for his team. "Yeah."

Clint raised an eyebrow. "How do you know? Have you talked in the past seven years?"

"No, but I've kept track of his life. Wait, how did you know that it has been seven years-"

"You've been stalking the poor guy?" Steve interrupted. He let out a humorless laugh. "Great. Real nice, Tony."

"See?" The genius motioned exaggeratedly at Steve. "THIS is why I don't talk to you guys seriously! You just don't understand!"

"I do, Mr Stark!" Peter offered, then blushed deeply when everyone turned to look at him.

"As interesting as this conversation has been," Loki started in a bored tone, leaning against the Greyhound parked in the middle of the street. "I'm assuming that this child is whom you've been waiting for?"

Everyone turned to look where he was gesturing. The person they were staring at was gaping at them, blue eyes wide open as he stared at the heroes on his front lawn. His curly brown hair was messy, and he was dressed in casual clothing, large orange headphones over his ears. He looked to be about mid- to late-teens, and wore an MIT tee shirt. He held a shopping bag full of wire and other electrical items.

"Tony?" He said hoarsely.

Tony beamed. "Kid! We decided to pop by since we are in Tennessee!"

The boy narrowed his eyes. "You don't remember my name. Do you?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Harley, who do you think has been getting you those awesome Christmas presents all these years?"

Harley crossed his arms, the bag forgotten on the ground. "Miss Potts."

Clint stifled a laugh and started coughing as Nat patted his back.

Tony pouted. "That was ONE TIME!" He whined. "How did I know she'd get you a puppy?"

"Mr Stark, care to introduce us to your friend?" May hinted.

Harley looked around at the Avengers, and his face paled.

"Nah." Tony waved his hand absentmindedly and draped an arm around Harley's shoulders.

"I'm Harley Keener." Harley said, jabbing Tony in the side with his elbow. "I helped this idiot with his Iron Man suit when he 'died' the Christmas after New York."

"Idiot?" Tony pouted.

Stephen rolled his eyes while May shot a glare at Tony.

"I'm Dr Strange."

"Clint Barton."

"Peter Parker."

"May Parker"

"Natasha Romanoff"

"Bruce Banner."

"Loki Laufeyson."

"Wait, WHAT?" Harley interrupted, staring at Loki. "Duuuude! You're Thor's brother?"

Loki quirked an eyebrow. "Indeed, mortal."

"And I'm Steve Rogers." Captain America said, giving Harley a funny look. "You're Tony's friend?"

Harley's face paled even more, and Loki saw something flash in the young man's eyes. "OH!" He said quite loudly. The team looked at each other to see if anyone knew why the kid was shouting. "THE AVENGERS! SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?" He continued loudly, and Loki noticed his eyes flick to the garage. The centuries-old man knew immediately that look. The mortal was being sneaky. "DO YOU WANNA GO GET LUNCH OR SOMETHING? I KNOW THIS GREAT PLACE WITH TUNA FISH SANDWICHES!"

"Harley, why are you shouting?" Tony asked annoyed, inadvertently blocking Harley's view of the garage.

Loki cast an illusion around his body, and walked away from the team and up to the garage. To an outside observer, he knew that it would seem as if he hadn't moved.

He used a small spell to let him into the garage, where he looked around, letting the illusion fall from his body.

"So, mortal. What are you hiding from 'Earth's Mightiest Heroes'?" Loki wondered aloud.

He heard a clatter, and turned sharply, finding himself staring down the barrel of a rather deadly-looking gun.

 **Hey! It's Ariatestarrprincess! (Fellow fangirl, Anti-hero lover, and a lot more things no one cares about;). Anyway, Darkwolfthewriter and I have had an excellent New Year, and I enjoyed writing this chapter SOOOOO MUCH! We love reading your comments, and any suggestions are appreciated.**


	8. Chapter 8

*Loki didn't move, just merely observed the cold eyes of the man behind the gun. On closer examination, the stranger's blue eyes also held fear, and was that dread? Maybe pain. He looked to be around Steve's age, and had dark brown hair that hung around his face and down to his chin. He was muscular for a mortal, and almost matched Loki height-wise. The thing about the black-clad man that caught the Jotun's eye, was his metal arm. "You know, bullets don't really damage my kind." Loki said in a bored tone. The man shifted his weight, but kept the gun leveled at Loki's forehead. Loki sighed. "I'm sort of with the Avengers now, so that means I can't kill without reason. If you shoot, I will have a reason, an mark my words that I won't hesitate to end you."

"The Avengers are here." The Man stated quietly, his gun hand never wavering. Harley continued to shout outside, and Loki rolled his eyes. "Obviously." He eyed the stranger carefully.

"It would seem that the mortal child is guarding you. Pray tell why?" The man's eyes hardened. "He is too nice for his own good. He insisted on helping me." Loki then noticed the man's metal arm was abnormally still, with a few loose wires sticking out.

"Your bionic appendage is damaged and needs repair. Those items the boy outside has in that odd bag are to help with the recovery of the use of your bionic arm. Correct?" The man slowly nodded. "Well, then let me recommend instead Stark, who is quite good with all things mechanical. Just don't tell him that. I doubt his ego could grow much more, but I don't feel like taking the chance." The man shifted uncomfortably.

"No. He hates me." Loki smirked.

"Then lower your gun, mortal. He hates me too, and is forced to merely tolerate my presence." The stranger lowered his gun hesitantly, and Loki crossed his arms. He could've easily taken out the man, but Loki wanted an ally on Earth, and a man who was avoiding the Avengers seemed like a good place to start.

"You're the guy who attacked New York." Loki nodded.

"Loki." The man hesitated, then muttered softly;

"Bucky." Loki raised a black eyebrow.

"You're Rogers' friend? The one that murdered Stark's parents." Bucky pursed his lips. "I wasn't in control of my actions." The assassin's voice was broken, and pain flashed across his face as he remembered. Loki's sneer dropped off his face, and instead a genuine look of sympathy crossed his features before he composed himself.

"My apologies. I know the feeling of not being in control. Now, unless you want your friend to find out you're here, hold still, and keep silent." Loki had just started to make Bucky disappear when the door burst open, revealing a stunned team of Avengers. There was a tiny flicker of green light, and then it vanished.

"WHAT THE-" "Is that-" "What's he doing in here?" "Was that just-" "LOKI!" The questions stopped when May shouted at the Jotun. He couldn't help but wince slightly at the harsh tone of the woman.

"Yes, Lady May?" He asked smoothly. She blushed a little at his charming manner.

"What are you doing over here?" Her tone was softer. Loki holds up the bag of wires and stuff that Harley had been holding only seconds before. He gave the flabbergasted young man a pointed look, and smiled charmingly at the Avengers.

"He wished for me to bring this in, right?" Loki directed that last part at Harley with a small nod, and the kid nodded slowly. His sharp mind quickly grasped the concept that the trickster was actually helping him,

"Y-yeah."

"When did you disappear?" Tony asked, looking around the garage suspiciously. Loki saw Bucky tense, and a puzzled look crossed the soldier's face as everyone seemed to ignore his presence.

"While you were engaged with the child." Loki answered easily. Tony still looked around suspiciously, knowing something was wrong but not knowing what. Stephen felt something was off, but he didn't feel up to fighting the Jotun on anything right then. "Tony? I'm hungry." Harley said anxiously. Tony's attention was immediately captured. His face formed a slight pout, and he smiled at Harley. "I know..." Harley rolled his eyes. "Oh, please-" "Because we're CONNECTED!" Harley facepalmed.*

"Look, Lunch sounds… Awesome!" Harley stuttered. After a moment, the kid straightened and wiped his face of any panic. "I have to finish some work real quick; why don't you head to the van and I'll be right there. Oh, Loki do you mind sticking around? I could use a hand… and you've been _so much help_ so far." The Avengers gave Harley a weird look, but the kid returned their stare with a glare that made them all shrink.

"Fine. If the guy tries to take over your mind just call." Tony sighed, spinning on his heels and stalking out with the Avengers in tow.

They waited until the sound of the van doors echoed through the lawn.

"Alright where is he?" Harley asked with a hint of annoyance lacing through his voice.

Loki waved his hand flippantly and allowed Harley to see the ex-assassin. "My magic can prevent the others from seeing or hearing him." Loki shrugged at Bucky and Harley's confused glance.

Harley set about fixing the winter soldier's mangled metal arm, but he always kept one eye on the Trickster.

"So, we might have a problem." Harley sighed finally. "Our neighbor saw you last night, and threatened to call the cops if you weren't gone by today." He told the soldier. "Officially they couldn't hold you on much, but it'd still create a stir ,and we're still recovering from the last super hero mess."

"You could come with us." Loki suggested.

"No… Look... Kid, I killed Stark's parents." Bucky growled.

A loud clang caused everyone to jump. Harley had dropped his wrench and was staring at Bucky in pure horror.

"I wasn't in control. _They_ made me do it; turned me into some sort of freak, and made me a killing machine." Bucky admitted.

"I think Tony'll forgive and forget with time." Harley assured halfheartedly. "Now I think it's time for lunch. Can you keep him invisible?"

The Trickster nodded.

-Another Burger Joint-2:14 P.M.-

"You have got to be kidding me!" Natasha furiously hissed. The complete and utter annoyance radiated off her thin frame, as she seethed. "First that Stan's Burger Joint, and now McDonalds?"

"You know come to think of it that old man from the burger facility looked very similar to the barber from Sakaar." Loki mused to himself.

"Sack car?" Tony questioned.

"Sackaar , is an arena world where Thor got his fabulous haircut before being forced to fight the Hulk… The haircut didn't help him win though..."

"Hey he told me _he_ won!" Banner recalled thoughtfully.

"He was about to… but then you beat him to a pulp. Funny they call _me_ the god of lies."

"Alright ENOUGH! If we're going to endure this junk food torture, then let's get it over with." Natasha growled, as she nimbly hopped out of the vehicle.

Clint smiled as he followed Nat inside.

"Hey look! It has a play place!" Peter squeaked.

"Aren't you a little old for those?" questioned Tony with a raised eyebrow.

"Says the human, man kid." Bruce flatly chuckled.

"Oooookay point taken. Bye." Tony waved his hand at Peter.

"Hey, Harley, are you coming?" Peter turned to his fellow teenager.

"Yeah! Must you really ask?" Harley then leaned in and whispered into Peter's ear.

"Hey,Loki, have you ever been in a play place?" Peter asked with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"No, what is a play place?"

"It's a place where kids can explore and play and enjoy themselves." Peter smiled innocently.

"I think I'd rather watch Volstagg eat..." Loki mumbled as he brushed a bit of dust off his shirt.

The grins on the two teenager's faces were maniacal as they each grabbed an arm and began yanking Loki towards the play area of doom.

*Loki looked imploringly at the Avengers, and in the far side of the restaurant, there was a metal-armed assassin only Loki could see who was smirking at the god of mischief.

Bucky made a "go ahead" motion with his hand.

"Dare you, ET." The assassin mouthed.

"No." Loki hissed.

Tony looked back at the empty corner... "um, who you talkin to, Reindeer Games?"

"Chiiicken!" Bucky sang, doing a weird chicken dance.

"Shut UP!" Loki growled, and let the boys drag him up the play set.*

Between the spider powered teen and the teen with Stark level stubborness, Loki was air was stifling as they entered the room containing the large play area. A thump caught their attention, and they all looked up to see Clint grinning down at them from a plastic window near the top.

"Last one down the slide is a rotten egg!" Clint's muffled shout echoed through the plastic.

Peter and Harley grabbed Loki and urged him up the climbing steps. He tried to ignore the the sticky residue clinging to the worn down plastic.

"Odin's beard! How do they expect anyone to climb through these?" Loki hissed.

"Well these tubes are for toddlers and six year olds." Peter admitted.

"Six! I'm afraid to think what they do in here!" Loki was seriously worried now.

"Oh, you know spit, drool, track dirt, and..."

"Agh! No! Let me out!" The Trickster squawked.

"You want out? Race Petey here down the slide." Clint smirked pointing at Peter.

"Fine." If Loki weren't a dignified god, he might have been pouting, but he was a dignified god and was _certainly_ not pouting. He sat on the edge of the slide, grimacing at the thought of being forced down the stinky death tubes.

The countdown began , and they pushed off. About three seconds later an idea began forming in Loki's mind.

Allowing his fingers to turn slightly blue, the Trickster coated the inside of the slide in a thin sheet of ice. He knew the next person coming down was Clint.

Loki shot out seconds before Peter.

"Hey! That's no fair!" Peter protested.

"I won fair and square." Loki absentmindedly responded. He was fiddling with a Stark phone. "How do you activate the picture capturing option on this infernal device." He hissed.

"Oh ,here." Peter quickly tapped a few options.

"Hey, slowpokes, are you clear?" Clint asked.

"Yep. One!" Peter shouted.

"Two!" Loki continued.

"Three!" They shouted together.

There were shouts of laughter as the two racers sped down the slides… For about two seconds.

The laughter from Clint's tube turned to full on screaming.

"Ah! WHAT THE!"

"Language!" Loki shouted.

Clint shot out, skidded across the floor on his rear, and face planted into the wall.  
"Ow…" Clint spoke into the wall. When he finally got up, he turned angrily to Loki.

"You sabotaged my slide!" He hissed in unbridled fury.

"I have no regrets..."

"You aren't even trying to be nice."

"If I wanted to, I could squash you like a bug."

"You are genuinely evil!"

"You're ego needs to be brought down a few pegs." Loki shot back.

"You already took care of that when you took over my mind and made me attack my friends."

"IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK THIS IS ABOUT?"

"WHAT DID YOU THINK IT WAS ABOUT!"

"ENOUGH!" May roared, surprising them all.

They spun around ,and Clint and Loki were immediately grabbed by the ears and led yelping back into the cafeteria.

Loki had no problem with Aunt May forbidding him and Clint from going back into the play place.

-Stark's minivan—3:22 P.M.-

"Well… you mortals certainly are creative." Loki chuckled as he flipped through the book Peter had gotten him.

"Well of course! That would be one of our most defining traits… That and our intellect, as I would know." Tony dramatically swung his arms, nearly hitting Clint in the face.

"Watch it!" The archer grunted.

"What are you talking about anyway?" Peter asked.

"Well… I am most certainly not married."

"I see… So the story about the Dwarves isn't true either?" Clint asked curiously.

"Dwarves?" The Trickster asked in confusion.

"Yeah you know..." Peter made a zipping motion over his mouth.

Loki's eyes widened comically to the size of saucers , and a tinge of red flushed briefly across his face.

"H-how, but t-that… No! That never occurred, don't be absurd!" Loki stuttered, his left eye twitching.

"Uhuh, where's the god of lies when you need him?" Tony asked chuckling.

"Of course of all the stories… _This one_ made it to Midgard." Loki put his head in his hands.

"Which one?" May asked from the front. She had been quietly conversing with Natasha, and had only started paying attention moments before.

"Loki lost a bet to dwarf. He got his mouth sown shut… Which honestly sounds painful." Bruce explained.

"Oh, I assure you it isn't pleasant." Loki rubbed his face.

The car swerved slightly, and May's own eyes widened. "And you call us barbarians!" She exclaimed loudly.

"I never called you barbarians… you are merely uncivilized." Loki corrected her.

Natasha laughed. "They silenced and humiliated the Trickster then huh?" She asked.

"So…" Strange began eager to get off the . "We're on the topic of Asgard anyway. In that spell book you gave me, it talked about the aging rates of the inhabitants of different realms. Asgardians age more slowly than humans, that's why you live longer. So how old are you by Earth standards?"

Loki heaved a sigh. Today was more embarrassing then yesterday.

 _Mumble Mumble Ahem "_ 17 _" Ahem Cough._

"You're a teenager?" May shouted.

"Well Thor's only 18!" Loki crossed his arms defiantly.

"Yes, but I fought a world dominating teenager!" Bruce shouted. "I slammed a teenager into the floor!"

"Yes, but I'll have you know I've taken much worse." Loki assured. He wasn't on terrible terms with the Hulk anymore, but he really didn't want to encounter him again.

"Wow… um. Okay then Rudolf… Whatever you say." Tony shook his head.

*(Aria's idea)

"What is a Rudolf? You keep referring to me as one."

"It looks like a Bilgesnipe."Bruce shrugged.

"I see… But THEY ARE HIDEOUS!" Loki gawked in horror. *

Snickering came from beside Loki, and he scowled at the Winter Soldier.

-Maisy's Inn—5:33 P.M.-

"Why me?" Strange whined.

"Because Fury thought you'd be more suited to handle Loki." Tony repeated Strange's exact words.

The magician rolled his eyes before turning to his room. Everyone had paired up. Clint and Tony were in one room (Clint could take his hearing aids out, and be completely oblivious to Tony's rammbling), Peter and Steve were in another room, May and Nat took the third, Bruce got a room all to himself (He had threatened to hulk out if he wasn't left in peace), and Strange and Loki were put into the same room (Bucky joined them secretly).

"Well, who gets the bed?" Strange asked.

Loki threw both hands into the air and plopped lazily onto the couch.

"Really? I thought the royal prince of Asgard would have put up a fuss about not getting the bed." Strange couldn't keep the confusion out of his voice.

"You seem to think I'm some pampered prince who hasn't stepped foot outside of palace walls. Thor dragged me on so many "camping trips" that wound up with us in enemy prisons, that I would forget what a bed felt like!" Loki chuckled.

Strange quirked an eyebrow.

"Sounds like Thor is quite the adventurer." Bucky spoke from the nearby wall.

"Shut up." Loki snapped.

"I didn't say anything..." Stephen announced, looking at him oddly.

"Oh forget it." Loki sighed.

 **Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry it's been a while. Both Aria and I put a lot of work into this chapter, and we hope you enjoyed it. Reading your comments always makes us smile! We thank everyone who has stuck with us thus far, and hope everyone has a wonderful week! Remember we will consider any suggestions you guys throw. Just imagine the last place you'd imagine an immortal sorcerer and then tell us!**

 **Have good week!**

 **-Darkwolf**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi guys I know I usually leave these at the end, but I wanted to explain that Asgardians do age more slowly than Midgardians. That being said, both Aria I believe that Loki and Thor are in their late teens or early twenties. We hope you enjoy the chapter.**

It was past midnight, and the adventurers were once again in a crummy little hotel, per May's insistence. This time, however, there were enough rooms that only two people needed to be in one. Strange tossed and turned fitfully in his bed. He was getting flashes and glimpses of something, the best he could describe was torture; he could feel faint agony and fear at the back of his mind. The flashes steadied out into two menacing eyes, a large purple man grinning sadistically, as one word echoed through his brain.

 _Thanos._

The image shattered and Strange bolted upright in a cold sweat. He couldn't control his breathing and when he reached up to turn the light on, his hands were shaking far more than usual. Rubbing his hands down his face, Strange let out a sigh.

Thanos?

Where had he heard that name before? The trickster had mentioned him, but Stephen was certain he had heard it before that. Speaking of Loki, Strange glanced over him. He was curled up in a ball clutching his head; he couldn't be sure, but magician thought he heard whimpering. It was the final straw, Strange needed to talk to Wong. It would have been so simple just to use his sling ring, but that scary little woman had taken it and refused to give it back until the road trip was over.

Well the phone was always an option.

" _Hello?"_

"Hey ,Wong it's me ,Strange."

" _You do realize it's two A.M., right?"_

"Um… Yeah. Look I need some info. You have that book about inter-dimensional threats right?"

" _Yes. I'm looking right at it, why?"_

"I need you to look up Thanos." Strange whispered, lowering his voice even more when Loki tossed in his sleep. The sound of shattering glass over the phone made Strange wince.

"That wasn't the good china was it?"

" _Where did you hear that name?"_ .

"Um the Trickster mentioned him and I just had a weird dream."

" _Thanos is a titan, a being of immense power. He's been hiding for several thousand years in the blackness of space. His ultimate goal is to rule all the realms, and he has a vested interest in earth. If he and Loki are working together…"_ Wong trailed off with horror lacing his voice.

"… I don't think they are. I'm getting the impression that Loki is terrified of him. He's magically projecting his horrifying dreams to me, and he nearly choked Barton to death after that idiotic archer woke him up with a paper bag. Guess who he thought Barton was? Yup, Thanos."

" _All right, Steven, keep me updated; I would recommend telling the captain, but otherwise keep it to between us."_

"Alright… was that the good china?"

" _Oh no Thor broke that China. I broke the irreplaceable ancient china."_

And with a click, Wong was gone.

Strange huffed a small laugh, then fell asleep again.

Bucky was leaning against the wall listening. As an assassin, he had been trained to awaken when anyone else did. He filed the information away.

" _I know the feeling of not being in control"_ Loki had told him just the day before. Could this be what he meant? Bucky groaned and rubbed his eyes. He knew that he had begun to-I wouldn't say like, but maybe not hate-the apparently vulnerable Jotun.

The morning came quickly and Strange left Loki sleeping and sought out Rogers. It irked him that he would have to tell someone, but he decided it would probably be for the best. That being said, he still needed someone who could keep their mouth shut, so he chose Steve. The captain bit his lip as Strange told him about the dream and what Wong said about Thanos "Should we tell Tony and the others?" Steve asked quietly. "No, not yet, not until we have more. He's just starting to settle in and feel a little more comfortable around us. I think it'd be wiser to let him just tell us than for us to confront him." Strange admitted. Rogers made it clear he didn't like keeping Tony in the dark, but agreed it was probably for the best. Who knows what mr Ego would do?

They had the Hotel's breakfast before piling back into the van to leave.

"Could you move your seat up?" Loki rolled his eyes and huffed a sigh.

"No. These seats are fixed in their respective positions. And shut up, would you?" Bucky muttered something under his breath, and Loki's advanced hearing picked up on it. The Jotun smirked down at his book, his eyes never leaving the pages as he spoke.

"Ooh, good thing no one can hear you. The Captain would've made you wash your mouth with cleanser."

"Wait, what?"

"Your patriotic friend has a thing for no one swearing. Last time Stark stubbed his toe, Rogers literally put some liquid cleanser, or what you call 'soap', in his mouth."

"Wow. That is a little harsh for-"

"Actually, the small woman named May did it while the mother spider held him." Bucky snorted a laugh.

"Okay, Sounds like Steve. Anyway, I'm bored."

"Do you wish for me to remove my illusion from you? That would assuredly lessen your boredom." Bucky paled, and he went back to the stoic assassin mode.

"No." Loki shrugged.

"As you wish. Although I shall soon tire of this charade." Bucky rolled his eyes, the cold attitude sliding off as quickly as it had come.

"Whatever." Stephen looked around for whoever Loki appeared to be talking to, but didn't see anyone.

"Seriously, Mr 'god of Mischief', do you hear voices in your head or something?" Loki rolled his eyes.

"Is it really that abnormal for me to be conversing with the most intelligent being I know? (Which is myself, of course.) I know a man who can see through any door to find anyone on any planet. I know people who can speak to the wind and discover exactly what it has touched. Thor can call upon lightning to strike where he chooses. You can speak to beings in different dimensions. I have overheard Stark and Banner muttering to themselves many times over the past few days. So I ask again; is it really that abnormal for me to talk to myself?" Stephen narrowed his eyes.

"No, it isn't." The Doctor wasn't about ready to admit that it is actually a sign of high intelligence to mutter to yourself. He had done so on many occasions, but no need to let Loki know that. Still, a tiny thread of doubt crossed his mind. He could feel something off, but he couldn't place it.

Loki buried his face in his book and concentrated on ignoring the ex-assassin that was complaining in the seat directly behind him.

"So, you're 17?" Peter asked excitedly from his position next to his aunt, who was dozing against the window. May had decided that Loki needed some 'breathing room', and so when he had asked rather politely whether or not he could have his row to himself for a while, she had consented. Little did she know that the purpose for his asking was on behalf of a certain Winter Soldier.

"I'm actually closer to 18 by Midgardian standards." Loki said absently. Clint chuckled from the back.

"No, you just want to be. Just admit it, bluey. You're 17. Still a juvie." Loki glared over his shoulder.

"No, I'm seventeen by _earth standards_ as I previously stated; however, I'm Asgardian. I'm literally more than a thousand years old. I am not a child."

Nat smirked along with Clint. "You SOUND like a teenager, though..." she said with a snort. Loki frowned, and shot a glare at the snickering Bucky. Apparently being invisible changes a person. Knowing that no one can see or hear you, gives you a lot of freedom. Bucky wasn't behaving like the 'winter soldier' anymore. He was behaving like Bucky Barnes, the little punk kid that grew up with Steve Rogers. Loki was beginning to wish he hadn't have even invited the amputee, as he was turning out to be a real pain.

"But I am over a thousand years old." Loki said with a forced air of calm. "Hardly a child." Clint leaned back on the bench, propping his feet up on Nat.

"Yeah, you tell yourself that, Juvie."

"I've fought in wars that destroyed worlds!"

"Still only 17!"

"I almost took over your planet!"

"We stopped you before you had gone even a mile, so 'almost took over' is a stretch. Face it, you're still 17, juvie."

"I have lead armies!"

"Seventeen, honey!"

"RULED ASGARD!"

"Still 17!" Clint sang out, closing his eyes. Loki facepalmed.

"Mortals and their stupid, puny little brains." He muttered.

"Yeah, speaking of puny brains! I was doing some research on our trip last night, and this add for something popped up." Tony started, as the bus abruptly turned to the right. "What do you think?" Everyone looked out the windows. They had mixed reactions as the bus pulled into the parking lot.

Peter's face paled. "What?" He squeaked. Natasha sniffed in disdain, and Clint laughed. "Terrifying." The sign read: "LEE'S HAUNTED HOUSE; ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!"

Bruce rolled his eyes. "Yeah, let's take the Hulk to a house of horrors. Reeeally smart, genius!" Tony rubbed his hands together gleefully while explaining to Steve what exactly he could expect in the house. Of course, everything the billionaire told the Captain was false. Peter gently shook May awake, and she quickly opted out of the haunted house adventure, claiming she needed a break from babysitting.

As they got out of the bus, Clint grabbed both Loki and Peter by their shoulders and pulled them close, to where his arms were draped over their shoulders. (A difficult thing on the archer's part concerning the frost giant's height, but still possible)

"Now listen well, children." Clint began in a tone like he was talking to puppies or something. Both of the boys rolled their eyes.

"If you get too scared, just make sure you don't jump on Nat. Because then there will be a reason to be scared. Oh! And in the very likely case that you are terrified, please feel free to scream. I'm planning on capturing it all on video!" Clint didn't even see the jabs coming from the annoyed beings under his arms until their fingers poked his sides, right under his ribs. He yelped, and the boys walked away in opposite directions, ignoring the glaring archer.

-10 minutes later-

"I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS! I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS!" Clint screeched as Nat cut him out of a large spiderweb. He dropped the remaining four feet to the creaky wooden floor, and landed with a squeal, still writhing in the sticky white webbing. The red-haired assassin rolled her eyes, and helped disentangle him from the synthesized webbing.

"Cool it, crybaby." Nat sniffed disdainfully, slipping some of the webbing into her pocket for Peter to examine later. Currently the spider teen was literally ON Steve's back, gripping him tight enough to make the supersoldier lose his breath

"You mortals call this horror? This is child's play compared to what I've seen." Loki spat.

They all looked at him with slightly spooked expressions.

The silence was broken by a loud crash which shook the house.

"WHAT WAS THAT? WHAT WAS THAT?" Peter kept repeating at a high scream. Tony was hiding behind Banner, who was attempting to disentangle the terrified genius's arms from his shoulders.

Okay, rewind about 1 minute.

Tony was surprised how dark and creepy this haunted house was. Truly, it was the best he'd been in. Everyone (aside from Loki and Nat), had agreed that they'd had enough, and that's when every light went out. Loki put up barriers around himself and Bucky as real spiders began to drop from the ceiling. That's when the net caught Clint, who screamed quite loudly, causing the whole group of very-mature adults to seek shelter behind the nearest person. Minus Loki who was shielding (much to his annoyance) Bucky Barnes.

"Tony, I think Peter is too s-scared to continue." Steve wheezed out, prying the terrified teen's arms from around his waist. Loki, who had excellent and advanced night vision naturally as a Jotun, looked at the smirking Bucky.

Bucky could see as well, because his HYDRA enhancements had also given him the ability to see in the dark. And right now, his eyes glinted with fun.

"You're the trickster of Asgard, right? Is is just me, or does this seem like the PERFECT time to play a few pranks?" Loki returned the evil smile, and cracked his knuckles.

"You have a marvelous point, soldier. I do actually have a few ideas about the subject. Maybe you'd care to assist?" Bucky raised a hand, and Loki looked blankly at it.

"It's a high-five. You slap my hand with yours." Loki raised an eyebrow.

"Why?"

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Because it's- OH I DON'T KNOW! Just do it!"

Loki hesitantly high-fived the assassin. Bucky's smile grew.

"See? We're becoming friends already!" Loki immediately stiffened.

"I don't have friends." Bucky clapped his back

. "Sorry, but you're wrong bub. You do now!" Loki quickly wiped the puzzled look off his face, and the mischievous twinkle returned to his eyes.

"Ready to trick some Avengers?"

"You're on. Can you let them hear, but not see me?" Bucky asked.

Considering it for a moment, Loki finally nodded and waved his hand. Bucky placed his hands over his mouth.

"Ooooohhhhhh," All the adults jumped, and Peter was jumping into Natasha's arms. "I am the ghost of… Um... Sebastian Stan! And I am here to destroy you, Avengers!" Bucky growled the last part of that statement, and everyone took off running in pure terror; Tony was squawking about the fact that the ghost actually knew who they were.

As they ran Bucky shouted at them about the many ways he would destroy them, causing Loki to snicker silently.

-5 minutes later-

"THIS PLACE IS A MAZE!" Tony called out frantically. "I can't contact Jarvis, which means there is something jamming the signal. That's bad."

They had fled down the hallways, and into the basement. Loki had muted Bucky along the way. By the time they had stopped to catch their breath (and Nat had dropped Peter rather roughly on the floor.) They realized that they were in tunnel maze and had no clue how to get out.

"Eeeeh-uuuh!" The sound of someone gasping for breath was heard behind the group, and everyone turned around, grabbing the nearest heavy item, ready to hit the source of the noise. Bruce held up his arms in front of his face, and luckily everyone stopped moving before they hit him.

"WOULD YOU CHILDREN PLEASE CALM DOWN? I thought Sakaar was bad, but this place is REALLY designed to stress me out!" Clint patted his shoulder.

"Yeah, Tony." Natasha smacked the genius upside the head.

"Brilliant, simply brilliant idea!"

"How did I know this would happen?" He whined.

"Shut up and find us a way out." Steve snapped annoyedly.

"I could just use my sling ring, OH WAIT! Someone stole it!" Strange shouted at Bruce.

"Ugh. Children." Loki groaned.

"Yeah, keep talking Juvie." Clint snapped. Then the lights went out. Again. Once again Loki cast an illusion around Bucky and himself that let them see in the dark. That's when the trickster noticed that Bucky was rather pale.

"What is wrong?" Bucky took a shaky breath.

"Something's wrong." He looked around, and silently walked to the next corner of the hall, and peered around. He then ran up the stairs, and then abruptly hurried back down. "Uh-oh." He muttered, and turned back to Loki, his 'deadly assassin' face back on.

"Hydra's here." Loki frowned and used his magic to peer through the walls, where a wall of personnel in black body armor, armed to the teeth, were advancing noiselessly.

"Hydra?" Bucky took deep breaths, and looked like his head hurt.

"The people who captured me and made me the Winter Soldier." He explained with a pained expression. Loki frowned, and looked at the Avengers who were still arguing amongst themselves, oblivious to the danger rapidly approaching. "What do we do? They hate me, so they probably won't believe me." He heard one of the Hydra agents cock their gun.

"Oh well, I have to try." Loki said hurriedly, before removing the illusion from around himself. "Avengers." He called, but they just began to argue louder, pointedly ignoring him.

"You're in danger!" He snarled, pushing into the center of their squabble. They quickly pushed him back out.

"Beat it Loki." Stark snapped.

"We don't need any of your tricks today. Go away." Loki glared, and pushed back into the fray.

"Hydra is here!" He yelled. That shut them up. They looked confusedly around in the dark, blind as bats.

"Wait, how did you know..." Steve trailed off as Loki saw the first agent round the corner and aim and shoot at the very Captain who was speaking.

"Duck." Loki snapped with such force that everyone hit the floor. Well, except for Nat and Clint, who had pulled out handguns from who-knows-where, and were crouched in a defensive position behind some random dresser drawers in the hall. Loki conjured a glowing green shield that illuminated the mob of agents as they began firing. The bullets bounced harmlessly off the shield, but Loki grit his teeth under the strain.

"Go!" He snapped, and the Avengers didn't have to be told twice. Normally they would've stayed and fought, but they were weaponless and disoriented. That, and they needed to find a place to mount a counterattack. Loki fell to one knee as the shield began to drain more from him, but he retained it until he heard the last avenger disappear from the hall. He reduced the shield to only covering him and Bucky, and then disappeared into a nearby room, along with the Winter Soldier.

"Ugh." Loki groaned, looking at his stomach, where blood oozed out. Bucky drew a gun from the back of his jeans.

"Come on. We don't have any time to waste." He said calmly. "And keep pressure on that." Loki pulled his jacket off his arms, and tied the sleeves around his torso, over the wound. He pulled a dagger from heaven only knows WHERE, and nodded at Bucky. They wordlessly crept out of the room, weapons up and ready to use.

"The Avengers split up." Loki said in a hushed voice. "Half of them are to the right, the other half is to the left." Bucky nodded, and made a move to go to the left. "If we separate, I cannot maintain my invisibility shield around you." He warned.

Bucky nodded again, but didn't hesitate in stealthily moving forward. Loki crept down the hall, silently hitting any Hydra agent with the pommel of his daggers, and placing a magical-induced sleep on them. He didn't have any qualms about actually killing them, but he knew that Thor'd had an Asgardian magician place a charm on the Trickster that would alert Thor at the instant Loki killed someone. Thor would show up, and listen to Loki's explanation, and then give him a lecture on another way of doing whatever he did. Since he didn't need that right now, Loki decided to just leave them unconscious. He nudged a door open, and ducked as I fist swung over his head, along with a spider web at his feet that made him trip. "

Captain." He said tensely, cutting the web off his feet. Steve froze, then seemed to relax.

"It's okay, kid." Rogers told Peter, who was literally perched on his shoulder. Peter jumped down, and Loki conjured a light, which he gave to Steve. Peter just used the light on his phone.

"Where is Strange?" Loki asked quietly, while listening for the telltale sound of armored footsteps.

"I don't know. I think he is somewhere around here, but-"

"Okay." Loki cut him off, and placed his hand on a boarded up window.

"It's not breakable." Peter said seriously. "Believe me, we've tried." Loki smirked at them as he felt the metal on the window.

"We'll see about that." He closed his eyes and let his Jotun form rise rise to the surface. He opened his now-crimson eyes, and focused on cooling down the metal. Frost radiated out from his hand, and the metal groaned under the strain. He stepped back, and looked at Steve.

"Try now." Steve huffed a sigh, and motioned for Peter to come with him. They backed up, then ran at the frozen metal, leaping into the air and kicking it with the force of two enhanced individuals combined. Ironically, just the merest tap from a finger would've shattered the brittle metal, so Captain America and Spider-Man went flying through the window, and out into the sunlight. They happened to be a good fifty feet in the air, on the third level of the house, but Loki just smirked and re-sealed be window with a layer of ice. He knew they would be alright. He silently snuck out of the room, knocked out three Hydra agents that had come to investigate the noise, and crept u to the next room. He stepped around the many "haunted house" themed creepy things on the floor, and checked the room. Finding it empty, he turned to leave, but was struck in the chest with a beam of energy.

"Ouch." He grumbled, getting to his feet and glaring at Strange. The magician tried to hide his smirk.

"Oops." Loki rolled his eyes, and conjured a portal under the sorcerer, who promptly fell through it with a squeal. Loki then moved off to help Bucky. He passed many Hydra agents that were scattered all around, and he followed the trail of downed agents to where Bucky had just knocked out another.

"Find any Avengers yet?" He asked quietly. Bucky didn't even blink at Loki's sudden appearance.

"Yeah. I found the nerdy doctor." Loki raised an eyebrow, and positioned himself back to back with Bucky as Hydra agents advanced on them from all angles.

"Dr Banner?" Loki questioned, kicking away a knife from an agent's hand. "What did you do?" He punched the man, who went flying through the wall. Bucky did the same with one of the men attacking him.

"I just," he kicked another agent into two more, sending all three down. "Threw him out a window." Loki snickered.

"You know he is the beast referred to as 'the hulk', right?" Bucky shrugged, and quickly dispatched the remaining two agents as he answered.

"He wasn't conscious."

"That's probably for the best. I doubt you would get along with the Hulk."

"Why? Cause you don't?"

"Yes."

"Okay, you might have a point." Loki made Bucky invisible again as the lights flickered back on. They found Clint in one room, carrying an unconscious Nat. Her forehead was bleeding, but Loki healed her with a quick spell. Clint nodded his thanks, and Loki opened a portal, which the archer stepped through, carrying his partner. "Is that everyone?" Bucky asked. "Well, there was the Captain, the baby spider, the earth wizard, the 'nerdy doctor', Barton, and the mother spider. We're still missing Stark."

"Seriously, dude. You gotta stop talking to yourself." The aforementioned genius said fully, leaning against the door.

"Says the mortal that took the Avengers into an ambushed 'house of horrors'." Loki shot back. Stark shrugged.

"We're all okay though."

"No thanks to you." Loki seethed through his teeth. Tony rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. I did get the lights on, though. And took out a couple agents, and put trackers on a couple agents, and-" Loki touched Stark's head, and he fell to the ground, unconscious. "Ugh. Thank you." Bucky sniffed, looking at the genius.

"I think I could've killed him if he kept talking." Loki chuckled in response, and easily picked up Tony, before stepping through a portal to where the Avengers were huddled in the Greyhound, nursing their wounds and trying to avoid an angry Aunt May.

"You forgot something." Loki announced, and dumped the unconscious Tony onto Steve. He sat down with a groan, and tied the jacket tighter around his waist. He was in pain, but he'd endured far worse pain. Also, he didn't want anyone to notice his weakness. Bucky frowned at him, and poked his wound. For that, the supersoldier ended up same as Tony; out cold on the bench.

Loki didn't like dealing with irritating Midgardians.

Natasha eyed him for a moment before grabbing his arm and speaking to the group.

"We'll be right back."

"Natasha." Steve warned.

"Relax. We'll be right back." She dragged Loki out of the van and around the corner of the house.

"How bad?" She questioned crossing her arms.

"I don't know what you mean." The trickster grumbled.

"Let me refresh your memory. A gun was fired at cap, but it never hit its target; not to mention the fact that you stepped right in the way of the oncoming bullet."

"My shield caught it.."

"Your shield didn't go up for another two seconds after the gun fired." Natasha yanked the jacket off to reveal the blood seeping through his shirt.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I was going to wait until I was alone, but you'll insist on bugging me about it." Loki admitted.

"I can take the bullet out right here." Nat offered.

Loki shook his head. Holding the palm of his hand out in front of him, he focused. A green shimmer enveloped his hand, and the bullet was resting there seconds later. In another five seconds he was fully healed.

"That's handy." Natasha admitted.

"Can we go now?" Loki hissed in frustration.

"Sounds good to me."

-Sparrow's Sea food joint-

"Isn't there supposed to be a captain in here somewhere?" Tony asked looking around the room.

"Don't be corny." Bruce scolded as he popped a bite of octopus into his mouth.

"You call this lunch? I wouldn't even classify this as food." Clint used his fork to prod the lifeless rubbery shrimp on his plate like it would suddenly jump up and murder him.

"I think this is the best thing I've tasted on this pathetic mud ball." Loki admitted as he bit into a piece of salmon.

"Well I'm glad you like it. I was able to get a great deal on this 'Cannon Kill Kracken'." Tony chuckled.

"Canon kill?" Clint asked sarcastically.

"Um probably a play on words. You know road kill, canon kill?" Tony pointed out.

"Shouldn't it be like 'kill-hauled' then?" Clint asked, then he snickered and elbowed Nat.

"Keel-hauled, kill-hauled?"

"That is a terrible pun… Just kill me now." Natasha grumbled.

"You mortals are insufferable." Loki grumbled.

"You Asgardians are pompous idiots." Strange shot back.

"Вы когда-нибудь замечали, что Странный похож на Mole Rat?(Have you ever noticed that Strange looks like a mole rat?)" Clint asked Natasha.

"да" Loki spoke up. (Yes).

"You speak Russian?" Natasha asked in surprise.

"Indeed, so does Thor. Mother made us learn many languages from many realms; she said it might come in handy some day...Speaking of which, he does look like one. И Тор выглядит как золотистый ретривер." (and Thor looks like a Golden Retriever).

" Who looks like what?" Tony asked, referring to Loki's cryptic statement from earlier.

Natasha and Clint merely snickered.

\- Tony's nice hotel-

The team was worn out. They had decided to call it quits early that day, and find a place to stay. Tony had driven through most of the town before they found a decent hotel. Tony spoke to the guy at the front desk; upon returning he looked crestfallen.

"There's a plumber's convention. All they have is a hostel, and it's a tent set up out back"

"Hostel? " Loki asked.

"Yeah a giant hotel room with bunk beds. It's set up primarily for large conventions when we don't have enough rooms, and there's a lot of people. "

"Sir!" Tony whipped around as the clerk rushed back out. "We do actually have one room available."

"Thankyou we'll take it and six of the hostel beds." Natasha spoke from the back.

"Yes ma'am." The Clerk nodded.

"Oh, I claim the room!" Tony shouted.

Raising a finger to Tony's lips, Natasha glared at him. "May and I are taking the room. Am I understood?"

Tony nodded.

"Good."

Natasha stepped out of the van and dragged her bags out of the back. Soon she and May had departed, and the boys contemplated the long night ahead.

"This is horrifically disgusting" Loki hissed. The Hastel was grimy and filthy. The beds hardly looked clean, and it reeked horribly if sweat. There was a small bathroom in the back with a shower.

"How is this my life?" Tony shook his head dejectedly.

"It could be worse." Steve pointed out.

"Yes, Stark, you could be in the dungeon of the Dwarves. They are particularly rancid, and the food is half rotten... _if your fortunate_ which in the case of myself and Thor, we were not."

The plumbers gave them weird looks, and Tony put both hands in the air.

"Yes ladies and gentlemen, we are in-fact the Avengers, and we are in fact staying here. Please continue about your business and forget about the former supervillain standing here!" Tony shouted, and all eyes shot to Loki.

Loki walked forward and tapped Stark on the shoulder. The billionaire spun around and the trickster glared daggers at him. "Shut up, you Imbecile. What do you think Fury will do if people find out I'm waltzing around free?"

"Don't kill us please!" One plumber squawked.

"Oh. Relax, I'm reformed, and working with the Avengers. Loki closed his eyes, and shot a green wave across the room, wiping the plumber's minds of the last five minutes.

They looked dazed and then continued about their business, completely ignoring the Avengers.

"Dude, you have to stop messing with people's heads." Hawkeye deadpanned.

"Shut up, Barton."

The captain drew Loki to the side, and allowed the rest of the team to find their beds.

"Nat, told me what you did. You saved me from a world of hurt, and you more than likely saved one or more of our lives."

"I did not intend to take that bullet for you." Loki grumbled.

"Maybe not, but you still saved us... How did you know about Hydra anyway?"

"A little birdie told me." Loki smirked thoroughly enjoying the annoyed look from Bucky. "And that was my good deed by the way. Don't expect it to happen again." The Trickster said pointedly, as he walked away.

Steve just shook his head, smiling.

 **Well ladies, gentlemen, and superheroes in disguise, chapter nine! I know it's been a while, but we wanted to put more in our chapters.**

 **Also, big shout out to Lost Frost Wolf, for their suggestion to do something spooky!**

 **I'm currently super busy with school and moving and writer's block, and Aria's struggling with writers block, so please bear with us. We plan on more in the near future, and want to hear from you all. Thanks again for reading, we really appreciate all of you.**

 **(P.S. We aren't just taking suggestions for destinations, but we'd like to hear about pranks. If you guys have any good ideas, feel free to send them to us).**


	10. Chapter 10

-Hostel bunk room-

Strange rolled over on his cot with an annoyed groan; someone had just yanked the covers off the sleeping magician, and he was not pleased.  
"Up and at em, street magician." Tony spoke from the foot of the bed. "Your cape can cuddle itself. Get up."  
Loki who was standing nearby next to Bruce snorted , slightly pleased that the nickname had stuck to the rather grouchy man, while Bruce shook his curly head, brown hair bouncing.  
Clint was standing outside the bathroom door with a toothbrush in his mouth and a towel slung over his shoulder. He hadn't had his coffee yet, so he appeared to be comatose. Sadly, though, even in a coma, Barton was always able to dole out a snarky word or two.  
"Come on ,Cap, other people have to get in there too!" Hissed the disgruntled archer.  
A small blond haired boy was perched behind Clint jumping up and down in anticipation for his turn in the bathroom.  
"Are you an Avenger?" The kid asked.  
"Yes." Clint growled through his toothbrush; he hadn't had his coffee this morning, and he seriously needed the pick-me-up. Especially before he felt like dealing with any annoying children.  
"Do you fight bad guys?"  
"Yes."  
"Do you kill bad guys?"  
"…. No."  
"Are you lying?"  
"Yes."  
"Do you-"  
"Kid." Clint spun around to face the youngster. "Just… Stop… asking questions."  
"You're not very nice."  
"Sorry."  
The kid stormed off red in the face, paced once around the room and returned to the line.  
Clint rolled his eyes and ran a hand down his face as the kid bombarded him with a tornado of more questions.  
The door opened and Steve walked out dressed in jeans and a flag themed tee shirt.  
Loki snorted when he saw it. Typical Steve.  
Clint rushed inside the bathroom and slammed the door behindn him.  
Peter had opted to sleep on the ceiling. He was in a hammock made of special webbing that took twenty four hours to dissolve.  
Loki glanced up and realized that the kid was still sleeping like a rock, not even budging when Tony shouted his name.  
Magically summoning a dagger, the trickster flung it at the edge of the hammock, successfully fraying it. A ripping sound ensued and Peter was dropped ten feet. A few gasps from nearby spectators broke the silence as Loki magically shifted a cot to cushion the kid's fall.  
Peter sat straight up and shot a glare at the god of mischief.  
Merely smirking at the kid, Loki went to find breakfast.

-Hotel breakfast-

How Stark had the aptitude to find the worst possible hotels on the planet was beyond Loki's comprehension. He knew humans typically had bad luck, but this was beyond reason. Between May and Tony, they hadn't slept at a decent hotel for the entire trip.

Currently Loki was glaring suspiciously at the food that May had called 'gluten-free oatmeal with soy milk and synthetic sugar'. He scooped some of the grey sludge onto a spoon, nearly gagging at the smell.  
He then watched in utter disgust as the mush oozed off the spoon, only to splat unappetizingly onto the top of the pock-marked surface of the rest of the oatmeal.

With a green face, Loki pushed the oatmeal away.

"What's the matter, Little boy blue? Don't like your gruel?"

Loki glared at the one-armed assassin. "Mortal food is utterly revolting."

"Yeah, well, I'd have to agree with you concerning that oatmeal." Bucky wrinkled his nose, and the oatmeal bubbled. "Yeah, that's... that's... not normal."

"Thor said that he delights in eating 'popped tarts' to break his fast. Perhaps I should try those."

"Maybe. By the way, why do you hate your brother?"

Loki glared at him again, and Bucky just shrugged. "I'm just asking."

Loki's glare softened into a hopeless face. "I don't HATE Thor, but yet I do- but I still don't. He's an idiot, but he's my... brother, but he's also my enemy... Our situation is..."

Bucky nodded. "Complicated?"

Loki exhaled sharply. "Yeah." He had just called Thor his brother... again.

Then the trickster yelped as a metal hand contacted the back of his head.

"Well then UN-complicate it, you idiot. He's your brother, and then you guys fought. But he's still your brother. Now you can try to say that you hate him, but I'm not buying it. You need to learn to lie better, Mr 'god of lies'. Yeesh!" Bucky shook his head, and walked away.

Loki made a (very immature) face at his retreating back, and grabbed a box of poptarts since May was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh." He moaned, biting into one. "These are so much better than that 'oatmeal' stuff."

"You got that right! Want some coffee?" Natasha asked as she sat down across from him.  
There was a small cafeteria at the hotel, and Loki had wandered there alone, but he suspected that there would be more Avengers coming along. Aside from the invisible assassin that had left a few moments ago, Nat was the first to walk through the door, grabbing a cup of coffee before sitting down.  
Loki inwardly grummbled at the thought of the disgusting beverage, humans oh so loved.  
"I'll take that as a no." Stated Natasha before downing her cup of coffee in one gulp.  
The boys plus May (who had probably hurried them up a bit) all meandered in around he same time, grabbed breakfast, and sat down at the table.  
"Good morning ,Loki, Natasha" May greeted with a warm smile.  
"Greetings Lady May." Returned Loki, unable to stop the corner of his mouth from rising. He liked May; she knew who he was, what he did, and was still willing to give him a chance and stand up for him. In a way, it reminded him of Thor, but that didn't bother him as much as it should of.  
They ate in silence for a few minutes, before Peter spoke up.  
"Is there a difference between science and Magic?"  
"No." Both Tony and Loki answered at the same time, effectively surprising one another.  
"They are one and the same; on Midgard, it is a science that only a few have the capability to tap into." Loki shrugged.  
"So that means you're a scientist." Peter pointed out, dawning a surprised expression. All eyes shot to Loki at the thought of him being a scientist, and if anyone was completely honest, that would make him a brilliant scientist.  
Shifting the trickster shrugged.  
"Whatever you humans want to call it."  
Humans.  
He hadn't called them mortals; he had called them humans… without really forcing himself too . Was it possible that these people were growing on him?  
No.  
He wouldn't allow it; he wouldn't become attached to such short lived creatures.  
"So what do you know about the infinity stones?" Strange asked suddenly; he figured if anyone knew about them, it would be Loki. The trickster probably knew more than anyone on earth.  
The question took Loki completely off guard.  
"They are very powerful, and should be kept in very safe places. There are many beings who would do anything to get their hands on them. The stones can manipulate almost any aspect of reality and pose a major threat when in the wrong hands. I don't know the location of them all, but there are a few of whose whereabouts are no secret to me." Primarily, Loki was thinking about the tesseract, which was carefully hidden away.  
"How many are there?" Tony asked through a mouthful of pancakes.  
"Six." Loki curtly responded. "They all contain the power to manipulate some aspect of space and time. A few months ago, the great sorcerers of all the realms were set abuzz after an ancient being of evil was defeated by the time stone. He refused to tell us who brought him down, but did say that the one who brought him down, possessed a cunning and intelligent personality. I would love to meet him at some point, he could probably teach even me a thing or two." Loki shrugged. "Apparently Dormammu's defeater kept him in a time loop and kept saying-"  
Strange was inwardly snickering, and leaning backwards with a smug expression, said. "Dormammu, I've come to bargain."  
Loki's jaw dropped… His jaw actually dropped, and it took him a whole five seconds to recover.  
"N-no… It couldn't have been… But you have no …. How?"  
"Woah, Strange, you just made the god of lies speechless. I must be dreaming." Tony laughed.  
"Yup, I defeated Dormammu, single handedly… Say, does that mean I'm not a street magician anymore?" Strange asked, crossing his arms and grinning.  
"No, now I consider you a…. Stage magician." Loki smugly shot back.  
"How's that any better?" Strange gasped; the sorcerer supreme expected nothing less and was merely feigning surprise.  
"It's not better really, but that's kind of the point." Strange glared and Loki smirked.

-Tony's Greyhound-

"What's the plan for today?" Tony asked as he supervised the bag loading.  
"We need to go to the super market." May spoke up as she carefully arranged the bags in the back.  
"What do we need there?" Clint asked.  
"Well, we have car loaded with a spider powered teen, a hulk, a super soldier, and an Asgardian god of mischief. They ate all our junk food." Tony shrugged.  
"Shopping? Agh, I hate shopping!" Strange moaned.  
"It could be worse." Loki pointed out.  
"You always say that!" Strange shouted at him.  
"And for good reason." The trickster shot back as he slammed the trunk lid closed.  
"Hey, easy with my car!" Tony squawked, pushing Loki out of the way and hugging the side of his car.  
"Did that nasty old god of mischief hurt you, my baby? I know he's just mean." Tony crooned, petting the vehicle.  
"Hmm. So Tony views the car as Thor viewed Mjolnir. Interesting." Loki muttered.  
There was a click, and Tony glared at Clint, who was holding up a phone.  
"Erase that photo!" Tony shouted defensively, taking a step towards the archer.  
"Not a chance, genius. We need to keep mementos, and if that includes you cuddling your car… Well so be it!" The archer was backing up, holding the phone up far above the inventor's head.  
"Jarvis, erase her phone." Tony growled, realizing he was too short to grab it.  
"Jarvis, don't" Clint warned.  
"Sorry, Sir, in the 'Spirit of Vacation' you informed me that I was to leave all photos intact no matter who told me to erase them, even the director himself. I cannot go against my core programming." Jarvis spoke from the van.  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Tony pouted.  
"Everyone inside!" Steve announced, shaking his head while grinning.

-Walmart Parking lot-

"Walmart, here we are!" May shouted as she pulled into the large parking lot.  
"Yay, Walmart." Strange groaned with his face in his hands, flinching when Nat rammed him in the ribs with her incredibly bony elbow.  
They all exited the van, and crowded near the back.  
"All right, we do want this to go relatively fast, so I've divided us up into groups. Clint, Loki, and Peter, you're one group, here's your list." May handed them a folded piece of paper.  
"Steve, Natasha, and Stephen, you're another group. Here you go." They too received their list.  
"Bruce, you're with me."  
The group split up inside inside Walmart each group grabbed a cart and checked out the list.  
"Okay," Clint began. "First on the list is sunscreen."  
"Um… that might be in the toiletries isle." Peter guessed.  
"Right let's go."  
"So this place is like a market?" Loki asked as they walked. "It's quite peculiar."  
"Uh huh." Clint was scanning the isles for sunscreen, and was thus not paying attention.  
"She called it a supermarket. Do only superheroes come here?" Loki asked again.  
"Nah, it just means that they sell everything here." Clint shrugged, leave it to Loki to take the literal meaning  
"Hey, let's race carts!" Peter suggested.  
"If your aunt finds out-" Clint started.  
"She won't." Smiled the teen.  
A mischievous smile crossed Peter's face.  
"Why do I feel like we should not be doing this?" Loki asked; however, he was promptly ignored.

"AGH! Stop the cart!" Clint squealed as the cart sped down the isles. Apparently spider strength and cart racing don't go together.  
Peter simply couldn't catch the cart that was now speeding the isle with Clint sitting in it. Both he and Loki were racing after it but unable to catch it.  
Bucky was perusing the end of an isle as Clint streaked toward him in a runaway cart. The metal-armed assassin looked up when he heard the shouting.  
Loki saw him standing near the projected path of the runaway archer's cart, and shouted out: "Grab that!"

Bucky looked at the cart, and with a smirk and a scoff, walked away as the cart sailed by him, chuckling at the colorful Russian words Loki chose for him.

The wire basket of wheeled doom was nearing the end of the isle that opened up to the groceries and Clint was screaming loudly now.  
"Stop Stop Stop." Peter shouted as he fumbled with his web shooter, and shot it at the cart handle.  
The cart yanked to a stop, but Clint flew out and soared through the air…. Flying right into the cabbage display.  
Surfacing sheepishly from the sea of crushed green, Clint looked miserable and was forced to brush cabbage leaves out of his hair.  
"Ahem." The store manager was glaring at the group. "You're going to have to come with me."  
"Uh oh." Clint shrank into the Cabbage bin.

-Outside Walmart-

"Banned from Walmart?! You managed to get us banned from Walmart!" Tony was shouting at Clint now. "I had to pay for all the cabbage you ruined ,Birdbrain!"  
"Who's idea was it, this... Cart Racing?" May asked with arms crossed.  
Clint pointed at Loki. "I tried to talk him out of it!"  
"You did not! I told YOU it was a bad idea!" Loki shot back at him.  
"Aunt May… It was my idea. Loki told us it was bad idea, but we didn't listen. I'm sorry." Peter lowered his head.  
"Shame on both of you." May scowled. "Clint appologize to Loki for lying, and ,Peter, when we get back, you will work to pay Mister Stark back for every penny spent on that lettuce."  
"Sorry." Clint muttered, stalking to the van.  
"Yeah, sorry." Peter joined him.  
Loki sagged. "It seems trouble seems to find me no matter where I go." He sighed.  
"Don't worry about it. It's called being an Avenger; it happens." Stark shrugged before throwing an arm over his shoulder.

"Which is exactly why I'm here." Pointed out a still grouchy May Parker.

Loki climbed in the van and located an empty seat next to Steve and Peter.

Tony was in the driver's seat and Bruce was sitting next to him; Clint, Nat and Strange were in the middle; and Peter and Steve were in the back leaving a window and a middle seat open.  
Bucky was sitting in the window seat, thus Loki took the middle seat.  
"You don't want the window seat?" Steve asked.  
"No I'm fine here." Loki frowned.  
Steve shrugged and fastened his seat belt.  
"This is your fault." He muttered under his breath to the assassin.  
"It's fine now. Stop mulleygrubbing over it." Bucky hissed back.

"What's that smell!" Peter whined, pinching his nose and waving his free hand.

"Cabbage man over there." Natasha answered pointing at a sulking Clint.

"Open a window!" Tony groaned.

"Shut up Tony!" The archer growled.

-Stark's Minivan-

"One eyed Fury-" Tony sang off key.  
"Stop singing that stupid song PLEASE!" Strange shouted stuffing his hands over his ears.  
"I concur; we have sung that song more times than I can count, and I think my ears are going to fall off." Loki groaned loudly.  
"Come on it's a classic!" Argued the inventor with an exasperated sigh.  
"It is not a classic; it barely constitutes as a song!" Natasha hissed.  
"I agree ,Tony; it's way past time to find a different song." Cap shouted from the back.  
"Whatever, I don't care what you all think…. One eyed Fury had a-"

THUD !

Tony was cut off abruptly by a dagger embedding itself deeply in the dashboard. Everyone gaped at the still-quivering hilt.  
All eyes turned to Loki who had an outstretched arm, indicating that he was the dagger's owner.  
"Shut. Up." The trickster scowled.  
Gulping, Tony squeaked "Time f-or a-a-another s-song."  
"Thank you!" Strange announced with arms outstretched nearly smacking Clint.  
"What is it with people nearly hitting me in the face?" Clint growled.  
"Maybe you're just unlucky." Strange shrugged.  
"No, unlucky is getting an explosive arrow to the head… Ask Reindeer games."  
"It's true." Loki nodded. "Though to be fair, I didn't die."  
"Yeah, how unfortunate for me."  
"How about the wheels on the bus go round and round?" Peter suggested trying to get the talk off explosive arrows.  
"Or we could sing the Itsy Bitsy Spider." May suggested with a grin.  
"Now that's insulting." Pouted the super-teen, crossing his arms and sinking into the seat.  
"One Hundred bottles of Coke on the wall, one hundred bottles of coke! Take one down, and pass it around one hundred bottles of coke!" Clint began singing.  
"NO! No, I'm not singing _that_!" Tony shook his head.  
"What's wrong, genius billionaire can't count?" Clint asked sticking his bottom lip out.  
"I can count!" Tony was now turning in his seat to face the archer.  
"In fact, I can count higher than you!"  
"Cannot!"  
"Can too!"  
"Sir," Jarvis spoke from the ceiling.  
"Not now Jarvis."  
"Sir!"  
"Jarvis I said not-"  
"TONY, LOOK OUT FOR THAT CAR!" Bruce shouted.

CRASH!

 ***GASP* Yes Air! Oh, hello all you faithful readers out there; I didn't see you sneak up on me. I've been busy sinking in the treacherous bog known simply as school, but alas I'm back with chapter 10! Thank you all of you who have stuck with us thus far, and we hope to have more chapters out soon. If you guys have any suggestions or ideas, please feel free to tell us, and we hope you have an awesome day/week/ etc.**

 **Adios, Bonjour, till next time!**


	11. Chapter 11

Tony's eyes cracked open as he let out a groan. The ground was moving beneath him, and it took him a moment to realize that he was being dragged across the pavement. Everything was a bright blur, but the one thing that did stand out was a metal arm wrapped under his right shoulder.

It briefly occurred to him that he should be mad, but his mind was too fuzzy to tell him exactly why.

His feet hit the ground and a man with a metal arm walked back in the direction he had just been dragged from. There was a clanking sound, but Tony was out once more.

When Loki came around, he was laying on the pavement next to Tony. He quickly spotted Bucky sitting on a nearby rock, arms crossed, and looking very unhappy.

"What-"

"I pulled you all out of the vehicle." Bucky flatly responded.

"I see." Loki craned to see exactly what they had all hit, but there was nothing but the badly dented bus the Avengers had been using.

"He's gone. It was a semi truck, and you guys hardly put a dent in it. The jerk saw the damage and just kept driving." Bucky explained.

Loki was sore, but his healing had already handled the majority of his injuries; this process had also used up most of his magic.

"How are the others?" Loki asked.

He quickly evaluated the nature of his question, and realized that he was actually starting to care for these mortals. At the very least, he know knew why his brother had taken such a liking to them.

It was disgusting. The revolting thing was that they were just mortals! Why should he care for some inferior being that would die within a century?

But yet... he did care. They filled the gap that Frigga's death and Odin's absence had made. They were his friends, no matter how much he hated to admit it. And believe me, he HATED to admit it. Friends were weaknesses in his eyes.

"Alive. They'll be sore for certain, but I didn't see anything more than a few cuts and bruises. Maybe a few broken bones, but nothing life-threatening." The assassin nudged Steve with his foot and chuckled. "And they'll have quite the headaches."

Loki nodded, and knelt next to a very unconscious Peter. He had a bleeding, dirty gash on the side of his head, and his arm was obviously broken near the wrist. The trickster placed a hand on the teen's head and arm, and murmured a spell for healing.

The jagged sides of the bloody gash on Peter's temple slowly merged back together, while his wrist popped back into place, then the purple bruising disappeared.

Loki then moved onto Clint, who seemed to have a broken nose. It popped even louder than Peter's arm as it was re-set.

Slowly, Loki made his way along the line of injured Avengers, healing the broken bones, and the major cuts.

By the time he was done with Natasha, who was at the end of the line, the trickster was exhausted. He collapsed next to the red-haired assassin, and panted.

"I need to replenish my magic."

"Yeah you do." Bucky snapped, getting more agitated by the minute. "I'm pretty sure Stark saw me."

Loki glared at the one-armed assassin, but nevertheless took the metal hand that pulled him to his feet.

"I need to siphon off power from another magical being. I usually siphon Thor's, but..." he gestured around him at the empty, god-of-thunder-less surroundings, and the magicless Avengers team.

Bucky rubbed his chin as he thought about this, then his lips morphed into a smirk, and his blue eyes twinkled with mischief. "What about him?"

Loki turned at the groaning of Stephen Strange.

The earth magician sat up and rubbed his eyes blearily. "what happened!?"

"Um..." loki searched for something to say. Bucky motioned furiously at the magician, and pushed the mischief maker toward him. "Heeeeey!" Loki said carefully, kneeling next to Strange. "How are you doing?" He placed a hand on the sorcerer's shoulder, and immediately felt the magical strength flow into his body.

As soon as he was restored to at least a little power, the Jotun cast an illusion around Bucky again, just as the other Avengers began to stir.

Strange rubbed his eyes, and smacked Loki's hand. "Personal space, bro." He grunted, shakily standing to his feet.

Loki rolled his eyes, and moved to kneel by Peter. "Spiderling." He called gently, poking the kid.

Peter leapt to his feet, nearly sending Loki tumbling away. "What the-! We were- we were just... there, and now we're... what? What are-?" He gasped, brown eyes wide.

Loki chuckled, and patted the teen on the back, then turned and froze at the faces of the other Avengers.

Half of the team was smiling at the unintentional display of emotion, while the other half looked like they were still trying to process the fact that the god of mischief seemed to actually care about someone.

Loki immediately stepped away from Peter and cleared his throat, glaring at the team. Bucky chuckled beside him, but was silenced by a well-aimed jab to the ribs by a bony frost giant elbow.

"What are you all staring at, humans?" Loki sniffed, straightening his jacket

They all shook their heads and turned their attention off of him, and Stark mumbled something along the lines of "And I thought he had gotten a heart..."

There was one member of the team that didn't look away, and had, in fact, not been staring at Loki, but had been staring at the Bucky Barnes, who was right next to Loki.

Strange gaped at Bucky, and his eyes flicked from Loki to Bucky, and back again.

Bucky nudged the oblivious Loki, and pointed at Strange.

"Is THAT-" Stephen began to shout, but Loki silenced him with a wordless muting spell, which conveniently shut the sorcerer's mouth as well. All Strange could do was glare with venom at the guilty-looking duo.

The Avengers looked inquisitively at Strange, then forgot him as May woke up.

As soon as they were no longer looking, Loki ran over to Strange, and pushed him into his astral form, while he did the same to Bucky.

"IS THAT THE WINTER SOLDIER?!" Strange shouted, and Bucky winced.

Loki, however, remained calm. "Indeed he is."

"AND WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?!"

"Hiding, obviously. And here I thought you might have some scraps of intelligence in that tiny mortal brain-"

"HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN TRAVELING WITH THE WINTER SOLDIER?"

"There is no need to yell. It's only been a few days."

Strange immediately lunged at Bucky, but was stopped with a blue astral hand around his throat.

Loki jerked the sorcerer to his face, his red eyes narrow. "And I currently like him more than you, so watch it." Loki shoved him away.

Strange looked like he was about to yell again, but then he stopped. He frowned at Loki. "I knew you were hiding something."

Loki's skin returned to its normal shade, and the trickster snorted at Strange's comment. "Obviously."

Bucky was staring at Loki with wide eyes, and he rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm blue."

Bucky' face transformed into a genuine smile. "Cool!"

Loki hid his smile as he raised a brow at the now entirely-calm Stephen.

The guy actually gave Loki an approving look. "Okay. You found an outlaw friend. I get that. Honestly I'm surprised you found a friend AT ALL, but I guess this is the first step toward getting better..." He nodded to himself, and rubbed his immaculately trimmed beard. "But you have to tell the team."

Loki nodded. "I know."

Bucky pursed his lips, and punched Loki in the shoulder, an action for which the jotun shot him a cold glare. "He's right, man." Bucky straightened out. "Gotta show myself sometime. Might as well be now."

He pulled a fingerless glove onto his metal hand, and zipped up the hoodie Loki had 'borrowed' from Steve for him. "No more hiding."

Loki turned to Strange. "You will not interfere?"

He shrugged. "Nope. This is all in you. I'm just here to make sure you don't escape."

Loki sighed, and cracked his neck. "Fine." He nodded at Bucky, and they fist-bumped. Strange blinked rapidly at the earth custom, which seemed completely natural for the friends. "Let's do this!"

They all re-entered their bodies, and time restarted. All the Avengers were in a group, snapping at each other in anger.

Strange immediately backed away and sat pointedly on a tree trunk, crossing his arms and pointing with his chin at the quarreling Avengers.

Loki rolled his eyes, and removed the illusion from around Bucky. They walked closer to the team, both of them on edge. Loki then cleared his throat loud enough that the Avengers stopped bickering long enough to spare him a courtesy glance.

Then they did a double-take.

"Is that-" May whispered, and Bruce winced.

"I think so." He whispered back, looking nervously at Tony.

Steve's tone was completely, 100% confused. He couldn't believe that his old pal was suddenly HERE.

"Bucky?"

That seemed to snap everyone out of their trances.

Tony nodded, keeping his eyes locked on Bucky, as the two refused to break gaze. The Billionaire looked completely enraged, while the supersoldier's eyes flickered with guilt and regret.

"Okay." Tony said in a clipped, resigned tone, before lunging at the assassin.

The Avengers weren't fast enough to stop the rage-blinded billionaire, but Loki was.

Tony was in a surprisingly gentle, yet undeniably firm headlock within a millisecond. "Stark," Loki said calmly. "Calm down. Think things through. The soldier was as controlled as Barton. Whatever he did was not his choice." Tony wiggled around uselessly. He was no match for the pure strength of the alien.

Steve's eyes snapped to Loki, with a look that could only be described as complete and utter fury. "You KNEW?!"

Steve reached out to punch Loki, but was stopped by a metal arm. "Easy there punk." Bucky said in a calming tone, but the firmness underneath his words couldn't be overlooked.

Loki nodded his thanks to Bucky. "Now Stark, I'm going to let you go, but you're going to remain calm, or I am going to knock you unconscious, okay?"

His tone was so diplomatically laced with the venom of a threat, that everyone seemed to know that it was true.

Thus, when the unlikely and rather misunderstood villain-friends released Tony and Steve, both of the Avengers took a step back.

"What is he doing here?" Tony spat.

Bucky leveled his gaze on the billionaire. "I was in cryostasis in Wakanda, but apparently they had a power surge due to someone hacking their systems." Bucky shot a pointed glare at the inventor. "I woke up, found out they had fixed my arm, and came here. My arm was damaged during a little scuffle with some drug dealers, and I sought the help of a local mechanical protégée. Loki just happened to barge in, I almost shot him, he hid me, and we became unlikely friends."

Tony rubbed his forehead with a humorless chuckle. "Loki? I should've known..."

The whole situation was so tense that you could literally cut the tension with a knife.

Well, either a knife or a gasp from a geeky teenager.

Peter gasped loudly and squealed excitedly.

"Dude! You're the dude with the metal arm? Whaaaat? I thought you were dead! Captain, didn't the history books say that James Buchanan Barnes died?" Peter looks in mortal horror to Bucky. "I mean, it's cool that you're not dead! Although that wickedly awesome prosthetic must've hurt... Like, I didn't mean-"

"Kid." Tony spoke from where he had literally just facepalmed. "Shut up."

Bucky smiled at Peter, and hesitantly held up his arm. "You can touch it..."

Peter squealed in excitement, and hopped over to Bucky, poking his metal arm while jabbering questions to Bucky, Tony, Steve, and Bruce, but didn't wait for their answers.

May patted Tony's arm. "You don't have to like him." She said softly, her eyes on Bucky. "But maybe you could try to see it from his point of view? I can see it in his eyes." She seemed to grow sad. "He is haunted by his past." She looked up at Tony with a smile. "Maybe you can help his future not to be as painful?"

His jaw ticked, and he strode up to Bucky. Billionaire and assassin stared at each other for a while, then;

"Is that vibranium? Did they fix your arm in Wakanda?" Tony's voice was forced, but Bucky didn't blink. The team held their breath.

"Yes."

"Can I..." Tony cleared his throat. "Can I inspect it? For science purposes."

Bucky didn't dare smile, but his gaze softened.

"Sure."

"Bucky." The captain rubbed the back of his head thoughtfully.

"Stevie." The winter soldier acknowledged with a slight grin.

"It's uh... Been a while. How have you been?"

"Well I had nice crysleep until SOMEONE woke me up, then I had my metal arm rebroken, met this nice kid named Harley, met my new friend Loki, stowed away on an Avengers road trip, scared the living daylights out of Earth's Mightiest heroes, fought Hydra, and then was in a car crash... All in all, I've been terrific!"

"Wait, Loki, Bucky helped us fight Hydra?" Tony asked.

"Yes, he is the one who informed me of their presence."

Tony glanced suspiciously at him, but finally sighed.

"How on earth are we going to get to the next town?" Bruce asked.

"I saw a sign five minutes ago that said 'Smalltown twenty-miles.'" Peter admitted.

Tony rolled his eyes. " Oh joy... Let's get walking people!"

There was a simultaneous grumble which echoed through the group.

They grabbed their bags from the back of the mangled bus and set off.

Five minutes later

"I'm going to be an old man, by the time we get there!" Groaned Tony.

"You're already old." Loki shot back.

"Says the guy who's been alive for over a thousand years." Bucky quipped.

"Yes and you're the oldest mortal in this group." Loki chuckled flatly.

"Oh, back to calling me mortal? Last I checked Asgardians don't live forever either."

"I'm not Asgardian; I'm Jotun."

"Do Jotuns die?"

"... "

"Thought so. You are totally NOT IMMORTAL. So by logic you are mortal yourself. "

"Burn!" Clint shouted, shaking his fist in the air.

Natasha leaned to Cap's ear.

"I think Bucky will fit in just fine around here." She whispered, causing Cap to smile.

It had been about ten minutes since they had set off and Strange stooped suddenly, facepalming with a groan.

"Oh, I'm such an IDIOT! May, do you have my sling ring?" He asked.

All sets of eyes turned to face the sorceror.

May dug through her purse and pulled out the magical ring, tossing it to Strange

Really, you couldn't have thought of that like... I don't know, ten minutes ago?" Tony whined like a toddler.

Strange chuckled in embarrassment, and slid the ring on.

"Where to?"

"Well we were supposed to be in New York by now."

"Why are we backtracking?" Clint asked in slight annoyance.

"We were going to do a loop and head up to Maine!"

"A loop, Tony? How about a triangle, or a rectangle, oh maybe a octagon?"

"Shut up, Clint."

"I agree, let's do a vote. Tony never get's to plan our vacations again." Steve announced, raising his hand.

Clint, Natasha, Loki, Bruce, May and Bucky raised their hands.

"Alright, new rule in effect." Declared the super soldier. "Mr Horrible-Vacation-Planner Stark will not get to plan our vacations ever again."

"Come on, Cap, Barnes's not even on the team." Tony argued.

"You're out-voted Tony. " Rogers insisted calmly.

If Tony was pouting, no one acknowledged it, and strange opened a sizzling gold portal to Avenger's Tower in New York.

 **Hey Guys, and here's another chapter! Thanks for all the positive reviews we have gotten so far; they really make our day! Thanks to everyone who has stuck with us thus far ,and there is more to come!**

 **-Darkwolf-**


	12. Chapter 12

Previously on Loki's Unforgettable Road Trip

"Alright, new rule in effect." Declared the super soldier. "Mr Horrible-Vacation-Planner Stark will not get to plan our vacations ever again."

"Come on, Cap, Barnes's not even on the team." Tony argued.

"You're out-voted Tony. " Rogers insisted calmly.

If Tony was pouting, no one acknowledged it, and strange opened a sizzling gold portal to Avenger's Tower in New York.

They stepped off in the Avengers tower, and Tony took in a deep breath.

REST-STOP BREAK

"So, Tony, we're already back in New York... Why don't we just stay and say we finished the road trip."

"Do you really wanna risk Fury's wrath? " The inventor flatly responded with a quirked eyebrow.

Strange debated this and let out an annoyed groan.

"Fury was adamant about us having a few weeks off, and we've only been gone one."

"Fine! Let's just get out of here before my emu head explodes or something!"

"Uh... " Not even Loki had a response to that. "What is an 'emu'?"

"It's a furry bird-you know what? Forget it. Something my mother used to say, sorry that slipped out." Strange awkwardly rubbed the back of his head.

"Barnes could always stay. " Tony chuckled taking a step backwards, and receiving a glare from the one armed assassin.

Without warning, Tony slipped on nothing, in fact his foot was practically _thrown_ out from under him.

With an unmanly screech, Tony landed flat on his back.

"Wow, and I thought Thor was clumsy." Loki grumbled as he allowed the corner of his to quirk upwards.

"What was that?" Tony shouted in surprise, wheezing slightly as he propped himself up on his elbows.

"Uhh... you weren't supposed to... erm... Sorry Mr. Stark." A voice came seemingly out of nowhere. Everyone squinted at where Tony's foot had been and saw a very small little... Person? A brilliant flash of light, and the person started growing until he was full size.

A fully grown man in a bright red suit and a bug helmet stood there awkwardly, hands clasped behind his back.

"Lang." Stark growled from his spot on the floor.

"Antman!" Steve yelped in surprise, not at all expecting to see the bug themed hero standing there.

"Uhhhhh... Icanexplain." The antman announced, helping Tony to his feet with one hand as he carefully kept the other behind his back.

"I want to hear this." Loki smirked.

"Um- I- was- um a frie- well you see- I- ehe, you weren't supposed to...be? Here?"

Tomy quirked an eyebrow. "You can't tell me why you're here... Can you?"

"Not rea- no. Er-"

"What's behind your back?"

"Nothing!"

"Okay then, show me."

"No."

"That wasn't a request."

"Ehehe... good one.." Scott Lang chuckled nervously, and cleared his throat. "Can I leave now?"

"After you show me your hand."

Scott let out an embarrassed sigh and pulled his hand out from behind his back. Clutched between his fingers were two of Stark's newly produced phones, not even in stores yet.

Crossing his arms, Tony glared at Antman.

"Really, Scott?" Captain America facepalmed.

"It's my daughter's birthday and... I was gonna pay you back!" The _hero_ yelped.

"That's what they all say." Tony shot back.

"Why do you have two then?" asked Clint, shaking his head.

"Well if I was going to steal one for her, I thought I might as well...get... one for...me "

 _ **"Tic-Tac! I told you not to-**_ " Sam Wilson skidded around the corner, and blinked at the Avengers. He smiled at Steve. "Oh. Hey man."

Then he shifted his gaze to Bucky.

"Ugh. This guy again." The assassin rolled his eyes.

"I still hate you." Sam informed him.

" Both of you... Just... Go. Now." Ordered Tony rubbing the bridge of his nose.

With a grateful nod, Sam and Lang took off.

Lang ran for the open window and jumped out shrinking as he leapt, and Sam flew after him.

"And just ask next time!" Tony called after them, hoping Lang's ant-minions would relay the message. He faced the bemused Avengers. "Is asking that hard nowadays?"

Sreve just shrugged.

"So that just happened." Peter deadpanned.

"The ant-person and the bird-man are two of Midgard's heroes? " Loki asked curiously.

"Sadly yes." Tony replied.

Loki raised a thoughtful eyebrow, and leaned over to Bucky. "What is with your kind's apparent fetish for small creatures with many legs?" He asked in a low voice, that everyone still heard.

Barnes shrugged.

"Don't even try to figure it out; it blows even my genius brain. Alright people, let's get on with our trip!" The billionaire clapped his hands and jabbed a thumb towards the elevator. He was so ready to get out of here.

Tony immediately steered them down to the basement to get a new car.

Stark proceeded to open the drivers door, but May stopped him by grabbing his collar and yanking him backwards.

"You are not fit to drive any vehicle; and forbidden to get behind the wheel of any car with any person, or _especially_ my nephew in it." She hissed.

"Well would _you_ like to drive then, your worshipfulness?" Tony snapped with his signature eye roll.

May glowered at him.

Twelve minutes later, they then set off with May behind the wheel.

"Sir, I regret to inform you that Director Fury has overridden my protocols, and- he-eeeee- is-" Jarvis's voice cut out as another voice cut in.

"Stark." Fury's voice echoed omniously through the speakers.

"Oh, hello, Director." The billionaire greeted warmly, internally panicking that Fury would call him out on his utter stupidity in vacation planning.

"What on earth are you doing back in New York?" The Director snapped.

"Umm." Tony looked imploringly at Stephen, who proceeded to roll his eyes and transport the vehicle with his sling ring.

The entire van shuddered as it passed through a glowing vortex.

I don't know what you're talking about! We're in... Uh... " All Tony saw in all directions was corn...

"Iowa?!" The inventor glared at the magician for his choice of Location, but left whatever was in his head unsaid. Which was probably for the best, considering May was still glowering at him.

"How did- You know what? I don't care ; have a nice trip. And make _sure_ you have a trip, Stark. Two weeks minimum. _That_ was our deal." Fury grumbled.

After Fury signed out, Tony stark continued to glare at Strange.

"Iowa? Really! What were you thinking? There's only corn in all directions!" The billionaire hissed.

"Bays of hay make great targets!" Barton said enthusiastically, but was ignored like always.

"I wasn't really paying attention." Strange shot back.

"A good sorcerer _always_ pays attention." Loki scolded.

"Nobody asked you!" Strange hissed.

"I'm simply saying saying that when you are not paying attention, people can and will get hurt."

Strange was about to shoot something back, but quickly realized that Loki wasn't mocking him. No, there was nothing malicious lurking in his eyes; the trickster was being dead serious. It was a warning.

"Yeah, you're probably right... " strange admitted flatly, crossing his arms and sinking into his seat.

"Oh my goodness. The world is ending!"

"Why would you say that, Tony?" Steve asked.

"The magicians are... _Agreeing_!"

"Yup. We're definitely all gonna die. This has to be the apocalypse." Clint sighed dramatically. "Nat, pass the cookies. I need comfort food."

"I am not a magician!" Loki sniffed, turning his nose up at their arrogance.

"Yeah! You're more like a superscientist!" Peter squealed enthusiastically.

"Well there's no way I'm going to call you a scientist!" Bruce exclaimed.

"Good, because I am not one!" Loki snarled.

"Great, glad we got that cleared up! Now. can you take us somewhere else?" Tony asked.

"Nope... I'm exhausted, I couldn't open another portal for myself if I wanted to."

"Because you weren't focusing."

"Shut up, Loki."

"Terrific... " Tony pouted, ignoring the squabbling magicians.

At some point everyone (minus May thankfully) had dozed off in exhaustion.

Loki's face was planted against the window; Bucky was sitting upright in the seat next to Loki, asleep with his chin against his chest; Strange was sleeping, using his cloak as a pillow; Bruce was conked out with his back against the head-rest with a book on his face; Peter was asleep with his head on Loki's shoulder; Clint was sleeping with his face smashed against the back window, a small trickle of drool trickling down the clear plexiglass, and his glasses hanging off one ear; Rogers was sleeping much like Bucky, but with crossed arms and his head back against the head rest ;Natasha was sleeping between Clint and Rogers with her head against Clint's shoulder; and Tony was dozing with his head propped up by his hand, mumbling to himself in his sleep. Apparently the billionaire was dreaming about a place where rabbits all had iron man suits.

May was relaxed; for the first time in ages, the vehicle was quiet, the only noise being the gentle hum of the car.

After an hour almost everyone was awake save for two people in the middle row, Loki and Peter.

Clint was looking at his phone with a look of consternation. Natasha was peering over his shoulder, biting her lip, and gesturing at the phone screen. She whispered something to him that only Steve seemed to pick up, also joining the conversation with peaked interest and a low voice.

Tony let out a groan. "Hey look there's corn... Aaaaand more corn, and... "

"More corn... We know! " Bucky snapped.

"Hey, I can still kick you out of the car." Tony said hotly.

"I'll just ask Loki to sneak me back in. "

"Fine, I'll kick him out of the car."

"Okay, then you can talk to Thor."

"Good point."

"Enough! No one is getting kicked out of the car!" May shouted, loud enough to wake Peter and Loki up.

"Who is getting kicked out?" Loki groggily asked.

"No one." May assured.

"It's _my_ ca- ooh a rest stop." Tony announced. "Can we stop, May? Pleeeease? Canwecanwecanwe?"

Literally everyone in the car turned to glare at Tony.

 _"_ _ **Shut up**_ _!"_

They pulled into the rest stop and everyone got out. May dragged Peter with her, and made him practice pumping gas under her vigilant eye.

Clint spoke quietly to Natasha, and nodding, she approached Loki.

Without warning she gripped his collar, pulled him downwards till their faces where barely inches apart, and stared intently at his face.

"What are you doing?" Loki asked, slightly weirded out.

"Nothing," she replied releasing him and walking back to Clint.

"Hey Reindeer games come look at all the snacks!" Tony shouted.

Loki hesitantly walked over to the pavilion.

"Ahem... Stark... Uh. Do I have anything on my face?" Loki asked curiously.

"Aside from that passive-aggressive murderous 'I-wanna-take-over-your-planet' look, no. Not really. Why?"

"Why do I even talk to you, Stark?"

"My charming personality, I guess. You need a break from your moody one-armed bestie."

"I think I prefer his company."

Tony gasped in mock hurt, placing his hand dramatically on his chest. "You offend me!"

Natasha watched the exchange between Loki and Stark before glancing at Clint.

"Green." She spoke firmly.

Nodding, Clint reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone and raising it to his ear.

"Hey, Nick, it's Clint... I have some new information, and boy, do we have to talk."

 **Tbc**

Hello readers! 'Tis I, Ariathestarrprincess! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and am sad to tell you that this story is indeed drawing to a close. But fear not, dauntless readers! This is a fanfic about that antihero we all love, and I can assure you, that Loki's Unforgettable Road Trip will end with a bang!

(Stop freaking out, they're not going to DIE!)

See you all next update! Ciao;)


	13. 13

"Alright ,Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived!" Tony shouted, causing everyone to cover their ears.

"A cabin…. You rented us a cabin!?" Bruce shouted, crossing his arms. The scientist didn't like cabins… Why? Well, he couldn't tell you.

"You try finding a decent place to stay in the middle of Nowhere-Iowa, and then we'll talk." Tony groaned with a quick shake of his head.

"Well." Began Cap. "It could be wor-"

"Don't- just don't." Bruce growled at the captain, turning a threatening shade of green.

Steve raised his hands in the hope to appease the Hulk threatening to rear its ugly head.

"Ah- Tony, what did Mr. Gray say about getting the keys to this place?" May asked quickly.

"Oh- Uh- well you see- We're going to have to share this cabin…. Another scientist had it rented already, but since we were just staying the night, she agreed to let us stay, since she's off doing some research tonight. Only her intern is here." Tony chuckled nervously.

May looked ready to shout, but opted to seethe instead, gripping the steering wheel so tight that her knuckled turned a ghostly shade of white.

She sighed before popping open the trunk with a push of a button, and Tony got out to direct the unloading of the trunk. Mind the word 'direct'. The genius refused to help, stating: "I'm too pretty to do manual labor."

Even Nat's scathing glare wouldn't make the narcissistic man budge.

The cabin was two stories, with a fully stocked kitchen, bathroom, and living room on the bottom floor; and two bedrooms with bunk beds on the top floor.

A quaint little porch led up to the screen door, and a white van was parked a few feet away.

May led the way to the porch and knocked on the wooden door frame.

A pair of footsteps echoed across wood and the painted white door opened, revealing through the screen door, a black haired woman in a black turtle neck and jeans.

"Darcy?" Clint asked in shock, pushing past Tony rather forcefully. He was still upset about the whole 'too pretty for manual labor' thing.

"Hey, Guys." Darcy Lewis greeted warmly, pushing open the screen door and stepping to the side. "Aren't I the lucky one? I'm not looking at you, buster." She waved a hand dismissively at Stark. "I'm talking about Miss-Amazing-Red-Hair, and that other woman. Finally, some sensible female company!"

Clint raised an eyebrow. "I thought Jane was just away for tonight...?"

Darcy munched on a chip. "I said sensible females, bird brain. Jane has almost made me do an Erik. You know, going banana balls? Any more scientific talk, and I'm gonna kick something. I'd blow something up, but... yeup, I'm just that lazy." She sighed, and waved the Avengers in. "Oh, yeah. Come in, come in."

"And here I thought that we would be sharing a cabin with a total stranger… Oh wait she is…." Bucky announced rolling his eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Darcy, meet Bucky and Loki; Bucky and Loki, meet Darcy." Clint awkwardly introduced them. "Darcy is Jane Foster's intern."

Darcy's eyes widened as they locked with the trickster, and after a moment, she strode up to him and brought her hand sharply across his cheek.

"We've met before." She scowled.

"Wow." Bruce deadpanned. "No surprise."

Loki rubbed his jaw and shrugged off Nat's raised eyebrow. "It happens a lot."

"You may remember, Trickster…. The destroyer?" Darcy snapped.

"Ah yes, my deepest apologies. I'm no longer in the…. _That_ line of business so to speak."

"You mean the criminal business?" Darcy deadpanned.

"No, the- 'teach your brother humility' business." Loki corrected, still massaging his cheek.

"How ironic _you_ should teach _him_ that." Darcy remarked sarcastically.

"Darcy, Loki is an Avenger now. So please be nice." May stepped in, quickly.

Darcy gnawed on her lip for a moment, but finally nodded and said. "I'm staying in the bunk room on the right, women only." And with that she spun on her heel and walked out of the paused at the door. "Oh, and We're cool, bro. I don't like my siblings either. Just try to be more chill next time you try to kill yours."

"I blew up my home planet to kill our sister." Loki stared blandly, and Darcy's eyes bugged. "Per Thor's request, mind you."

Next thing anyone knew, Darcy was in front of Loki, her arms wrapped firmly around his torso. "I think I love you. Jane never even tried to blow up Earth. EVER! She's so boring."

Loki coughed and patted her head awkwardly. "Pity." He rolled his eyes at the Avengers' glares. "I meant about the boring part."

The groups split up and May and Nat each got an entire queen bed to themselves.

In the boys room was a different story.

"Alright- someone's got to sleep on the floor." Tony announced.

Bruce let out a sigh. "I'll sleep on the couch downstairs." He shrugged, grabbing his bag and exiting to the room.

"Top Bunk!" Tony shouted, scrambling up the ladder of the nearest bed.

Peter flopped on the bottom bunk of the same bed, and leaning back with his arms propped behind his head.

He promptly called Ned to update him on his day. (This was a nightly occurrence)

Strange took the top bunk of another bed, using his cape to levitate himself up.

"You know, you do have feet." Tony snarked to the sorcerer.

"Yes, but I also have magic." Strange snapped back.

"Be nice." Cap reprimanded from the bottom bunk of the same bed.

Loki walked to the bunk in the back of the room and carelessly dropped his bags on the floor.

Flopping down, Loki watched in amusement as Bucky claimed the top bunk and hopped up without aid of the ladder.

The assassin then hung his head over, letting his hair fall freely.

"Welcome to the inmate bunk!" Smirked the winter soldier.

"You are not forced to stay; whereas I am." Loki shrugged, giving the one armed assassin a glare.

"You know… You could walk out, and _I_ wouldn't stop you."

"Even attempting to escape their clutches would be a useless waste of valuable time."

Bucky quirked an eyebrow, a funny sight when one is upside down.

"They're that good?"

Rolling his eyes, Loki pulled down the collar of his shirt to reveal a blue pulsing disk attached to his neck.

"No, but this is."

"What is that?" Bucky asked wrinkling his nose.

"An obedience disk, used on Sakaar to keep gladiators in check and my brother's insurance that I won't cause trouble." The Trickster sighed. "It causes painful paralysis when one activates it, and the good Captain was entrusted with that dreadful little button…. "

"If you can be incapacitated with that thing, then what's he here for?" Bucky poked a thumb in Strange's direction. The magician was reading peacefully while pointedly ignoring Tony's constant jabbering.

"I have no idea..."

"Something tells me that we shouldn't tell him that; he thinks he's here to watch you."

"I don't know… It would be fun to irk him."

"Yeah, but Steve _does_ have a mean streak somewhere deep down under all the patriotic spirit." Bucky warned. "I don't think he'd have _too much_ of a problem using that 'obedience disk' thingy."

"On second thought…. Perhaps we should keep this between the three of us."

Bucky merely nodded.

The group arranged their bags and squabbled over bunk spaces for a few minutes before May told them that it was time to get supper.

Downstairs, Darcy revealed she had been working on soup for everyone since about noon, and promptly began dishing up the steaming chicken broth.

As the Avengers collected the steaming bowls, there rose a collective stifled gagging sound.

" ** _What is this, pig-droppings soup_**?" Clint whisper-yelled when Darcy wasn't in hearing range.

Bruce promptly put his bowl to the side, his face turning a sickly shade of green. "I don't even think the Other Guy could stomach that!" He agreed quietly as a murky bubble popped, releasing a cloud of foul odor.

"Guys, don't be rude." May chided, grabbing a bowl.

She took a deep breath and dipped her spoon in the snot-colored concoction. The team watched uneasily as she hesitantly sipped the broth.

"Mmmphhhmmm!" She exclaimed, rushing to the nearest garbage bin and spitting out the mouthful she'd eaten.

She then rushed to the bathroom and chugged water to rinse the taste from her mouth.

The team looked at each other, and quietly handed their bowls to Strange and Loki, who emptied them into another dimension.

When Darcy came back out, everyone's bowl was empty, as were their stomachs.

"Oh! How was the soup?"

"In all my long life, I've never tasted anything quite like it." Loki offered charmingly.

"Oh, I agree. The taste was unlike anything I've ever tasted." Steve joined in.

"Um, what they said." Bruce mumbled, still rather green.

Darcy smiled in utter self-satisfaction. "Knew it. I should've been a chef."

Everyone chuckled at that.

—-midnight—-

Two people snuck out of the mens' room, and met a third in the living room.

"You sure about this?" Bucky whispered.

"Yeah! Jane will kill me, but it'll be so worth it!" Darcy squealed too loudly, and was promptly shushed.

Everyone turned to see that Bruce was still completely asleep on the couch.

"Do you think that these things," Loki shook a round squishy thing in the air. "Will work properly?"

Darcy snorted. "Puh-leeease! I use these on Jane and Erik all the time! Don't worry, they'll work."

The trio looked at each other with wicked gleams in their eyes.

"Let's do it then."

—-6:30 am—

"Rise and Shine, soldiers!" Steve chirped, flipping on the light switch.

Tony pulled the blanket back over his face, Peter and Stephen slept on, and Bucky hurled a well-aimed shoe at his friend, while Loki mumbled something incoherent and rubbed his eyes.

"Too...early..." Tony mumbled, rolling over dramatically, but misjudged the distance and falling out of the bunk bed with a rather unmanly screech.

Peter startled awake at the sound, and panicking, launched himself out of the bunk and onto the Captain, clinging onto the supersoldier's head.

Strange's cloak, (which he **_totally_** wasn't cuddling) hovered off the bed, making the magician slam to the ground with many a harsh word in foreign languages.

Loki kicked Bucky's bed, and the two hopped out of their beds, bright smiles on their faces.

"What are those two smiling about?" Tony grumbled, rubbing his face.

"We know that Steve always makes pancakes as an early-wake-up treat." Bucky lied smoothly, sending a smirk at Loki.

Steve rolled his eyes. "Not this time."

Bucky and Loki exchanges looks. "We'll make them, then!" They cheered, racing out of the room.

The remaining Avengers looked around at each other.

"I would be suspicious," Stephen yawned, scratching his stomach. "But I'm too tired. Coffee first, then suspicion."

Everyone agreed, and headed downstairs.

Loki, Bucky and Darcy sat at a table piled with pancakes, happily munching away.

"Oh, Fury wanted to see all of the 'real Avengers' in the living room. Something about a conference call..." Loki said, and the Avengers, joined by May, Stephen, and Peter, all went to the living room and sat down.

A chorus of unpleasant sounds arose from the living room, and the three tricksters high-fived quickly then continued on with their breakfast.

" ** _What are these_**?!" Steve screeched from the living room as he held up a whoopie cushion.

"I have no idea. Lady Lewis, could you pass the syrup?" Loki said blandly.

" ** _Barnes, what is my face_** **_doing pasted on every spider_** **_web in this house_**?"

Bucky didn't flinch at Nat's livid voice. "I haven't the foggiest idea. Loki, could you hand me another strawberry?"

" ** _Darcy Lewis, why is all of my lab equipment bedazzled_**?!" Bruce howled.

" ** _Same as mine_**!" Tony screeched.

"I dunno. Honestly, people! Inside voices! Ooh, Bucky could you get the whipped cream? It's in the door of the fridge."

Just then Fury called, and Jarvis automatically answered, as he had been instructed by the trickster trio.

"Barton? I'm assuming there is a good explanation as to why my whole office has been covered in post-it notes that say 'Hawkeye waz here'?" The ex-director growled.

"Erm?" Clint squeaked, his eyes wide. "What?"

Loki smirked at the other two. "Teleportation sure does come in handy, doesn't it?" He said in a whisper.

" ** _Peter Benjamin Parker, why are there webbing bombs stuffed in my suitcase_**?!" May yelled, stomping her foot. The rug she stomped on let out another imitation of flatulence, and Steve's already-red face got redder.

" ** _Oh my stars and stripes, is there any place_** **_in this dratted cabin not infested with those repulsive sound makers_**?!" Steve cried out, gripping his righteous head at the inappropriate sounds emanating from whenever any of the team moved.

Strange smirked. "Ha! They didn't get me-"

He paused as his phone rang. He checked the caller ID and smiled, answering. "Wong! Hello-"

" ** _Strang, did you open another portal into the library and take my Beyoncé music_**?" The man on the other end of the phone screamed.

The trio smirked at each other again, and kept eating their pancakes.

-Later-

Bye Darcy!" Clint shouted as he tossed his bag into the back of the van.

The raven haired scientist gave them a two fingered salute, before walking back into the cabin.

"Alright, bag check, Loki?"

"Yes, Stark, I have my bags."

"Rogers?"

"Stark, if anyone left their bags, that's their problem…."

"Fine. Humph. Load up everyone!" The billionaire shouted, slamming the trunk closed.

Loki opened the passenger's door, finally deciding to take shot-gun. It was a rather nice change from the overcrowded back, and he decided to enjoy every second of it.

Peter sat next to Natasha and May in the back seat, Bruce was driving, Bucky was next to Steve in the middle row, and Clint was sitting next to Tony in the second to middle row.

"How come Loki gets to sit in the front?" Clint whined, crossing his arms and sticking his tongue.

"Because it's his turn." Bruce curtly replied, glaring at the archer through the rear-view mirror.

Clint was about to retort, when Jarvis spoke up from the ceiling.

"Sir, Director Fury is requesting to speak to you."

"Wow, the One eyed Cretin isn't taking over the vehicle… For once." Tony barely muttered the last part.

"What was that?" Fury's voice echoed through every speaker in the vehicle.

"Oh, uh n-nothing. What's up?" Stark stuttered awkwardly. "In fact, Jarvis, why'd you let him in without my permission?"

"Jarvis isn't available, Stark, now listen up. There's an emergency, I need you all to go to your upstate facility. I'll update you there." Fury sighed.

"Back to New York? We were just there!" Clint shouted in annoyance throwing both arms in the air for effect, and causing Tony to put his head in his hands in embarrassment.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Fury's voice ,of course, was laced with suspicion.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing! We can be there in five." Tony snapped, shooting a scathing glare at Clint.

"Good, I'll see you there."

There was an ear-piercing screech that had everyone covering their ears, as Fury let Jarvis take back over. They all sat there contemplating what could possibly be wrong _now,_ before Tony finally spoke up.

"Dr. Strange, if you'll do the honors."

"Oh no, that pompous dim-wit is not transporting this van **_anywhere_**. We'll wind up on the moon for all I know." Loki growled, waving his hand.

Bruce's surprised shout made everyone jump, and they realized with awe that they had arrived at the upstate New York Avenger's facility.

"How did-"

"I told you, I don't do mythical rings." Loki spat at Strange, effectively cutting the magician off.

"So… What now?" May asked.

"We find out what Fury's throwing a stink about, and maybe get out of the horrendous vacation once and for all." Tony suggested enthusiastically.

"Well we can't do that from in here." Rogers deadpanned, already unbuckled and pulling the van door open.

As soon as Bruce popped the trunk, it was a mad scramble to get the bags out of the back.

"Hey, watch it!" Tony shouted, batting an elbow out of his face.

"Quit shoving! I was here first!" Clint squawked.

"That was my foot!" Yelped Peter.

"Sorry, Ow! Loki, that was my ribs." Snapped the Winter Soldier.

"You stepped on _me_." Growled Loki.

"Ahem!" Natasha cleared her throat. Everyone parted, and she and May grabbed their bags before ,getting clear of the disaster zone. Natasha grinned at May and said- "Carry on."

The fighting continued for quite a few more minutes.

Finally they had sorted out their dispute and begun trudging inside, Loki jovially remarking about the inferior size of the place.

The gym was practically empty when the Avengers stepped inside and relieved themselves of their bags, dropping them in a heap on the floor.

"Avengers- " Fury's voice came from the ceiling, as a hologram crackled to life in the center of the room. The one eyed director locked eyes with Barnes and scowled.

"Director." Barnes greeted cordially.

"What are you doing here?"

"Long story, I'm sort of-"

"He's with us." Announced Steve, sending Fury a challenging glare.

"He's a wanted criminal, and I fully intend to-"

Tony rolled his eyes. He had begun to wonder whether or not he would be genuinely alright with the one armed super soldier being arrested. Sure Bucky _had_ killed Tony's parents; however, as the billionaire thought about it, was Bucky really to blame? No, Hydra was , not James Buchanan Barnes, the man who was in the same boat as Hawkeye.

By no stretch liking the former assassin, Tony also couldn't blame him for the murders he was _forced_ to commit.

"No, Fury, you won't. He was mind controlled by Hydra, and I can prove it. If you're going to arrest Barnes, you're gonna have to arrest every formerly mind controlled person in this room, including Barton."

Bucky's jaw dropped. Had Tony just defended him? May saw his surprise and placed a hand on his arm, giving him a slight grin.

Tony, meanwhile, didn't waste a beat. "Now, about this situation."

"Well then, I suppose we ought to get this out of the way." Fury sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Get what out of the way?" Tony asked.

"Loki Laufeyson, is there anything you want to tell us about the invasion of New York nearly a decade ago?" Fury asked, crossing his arms and trying to look as intimidating as possible.

"No." Responded the Trickster, a little too quickly for anyone's comfort.

"Director, you interrupted our vacation _and_ called us back here to discuss something long past?" May accused, with a glare.

Nick shifted uncomfortably, but quickly regained his composure.

"Yes, Mrs. Parker, I did. Now, Loki, perhaps I can refresh your memory a little. How about telling us the part where you were under the influence of the mind stone."

"What?" Strange asked as he cast a glance at the god of mischief. Was it possible Loki was innocent after all?

"I'm already awaiting a gruesome fate, and I'd rather not make it worse than it already is, by telling you. But you are on the right track, however."

Fury quirked an un-amused eyebrow.

"Your eyes were blue during the invasion; you were cocky. After the invasion ,however; not only were your eyes green, but you were scared."

"So?" Loki asked, rolling his eyes.

"So, if you're truly innocent, then you're also being punished for a crime you didn't commit. I may not be thrilled about this, but I _do_ believe in justice. So, do you or do you not admit to being mind controlled during the invasion of New York?"

With a grim sigh, Loki rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I do."

Fury nodded, and May gasped quietly.

"Great, so now we have three formerly mind controlled psychopaths." Strange grumbled.

"Oh, so you're saying we were formerly psychopaths?" Clint asked with an amused smirk.

"You know what I mean." Shot back the earth magician.

"Well, Loki, it's good to hear you're not as bad as they made you out to be." Rogers grinned as Bucky patted the sorcerer on the back.

"Well, I'm surprised you figured it out."

"Thank Barton; apparently he overheard you at some motel. You got real edgy when May questioned you about New York, and he figured he outta check it out."

"Oh, yeah." Gasped May. "I do remember that." Loki merely nodded.

Now, there are very few things that can or will surprise the Norse god of mischief, but Fury's next words did.

" Due to new evidence, Loki Laufeyson, you are hereby pardoned from all actions you made while under the influence of the mind stone. Congratulations." Fury grumbled that last word with hesitance. "Now, I didn't call you here just for that."

Next to Fury a holographic ship appeared.

Large and ominous and foretelling death, the large gray ship looked poised and ready for action.

"This ship appeared in our system nearly two hours ago, and is currently orbiting earth. We know nothing about it, and they didn't send a message... Like Thor did."

Fury stopped talking as he saw Loki stiffen, the trickster's fingers clenching.

"Odinson, there something you want to tell us?" Fury asked sharply.

" _I can't_ " Loki growled.

"And why not?" Strange asked.

"As I stated before, I am already going to die a _very long_ painful death when _he_ gets a hold of me... and he will. Telling you anything, will only make it worse."

"Who? Who's going to kill you?" Natasha pressed.

Loki remained silent and gazed at them for a long moment, finally walking away from the group and towards one of the large windows some distance away.

"I'll knock some sense into him." Natasha announced, cracking her knuckles and taking a step forward.

"Let me talk to him." Putting a hand on Nat's shoulder, May offered.

The assassin finally sighed and nodded.

She was shorter and a tad slower, but she did eventually catch up, only to find that he was staring out the window, his green eyes watching replays of some horrid event from the past.

Reaching out slowly she placed a hand on his arm causing him to flinch violently.

"I won't do it." He told her firmly. "Trust me, if I tell you anything, he'll find out."

"You're afraid of him." May deduced.

"Of course I am! He tortured me for half a year, Lady May." Loki admitted, not wanting to see the look on her face at the admission.

"And he'll do it again?"

"Yes."

"Then fight him." Steve Rogers voice echoed through the gym.

What Loki had been too absorbed to notice, was that every Avenger (and a few non-avengers) had crowded only a couple feet away.

Loki jumped in surprise before shooting them a glare.

"If you give up now, he _will_ capture you again, and that's not a pretty prospect. But if you fight, with us, we _can_ beat him, together." Cap continued.

"You're not alone anymore, cause _we're_ not gonna stab you in the back. Real friends don't do things like that, and we don't run off when our friends need us" Bucky continued.

"In order to fight effectively, We _do_ need to know what we're up against." Natasha added.

"So could you please tell us?" Peter finished.

Loki glanced at them in surprise; he was too frazzled to even try to deny that he had grown attached to them.

Running a hand through his black hair he closed his eyes, and nodded.

"His name is Thanos, the mastermind behind the first invasion of New york. He's an evil titan who wants to destroy half the known universe. And... once he gets his hands on all the infinity stones, he'll be able to do just that. I happen to know where three infinity stones are. I believe the being known as vision has the mind stone, you ,Strange, have the time stone..."

"And the third?" Fury asked, curiously.

Loki opened his eyes and focused on summoning the stone he had in his possession. He heard the Avengers gasp as the tesseract magically nestled in his hands.

"The tesseract?" Clint asked in shock, taking a step back.

"Yes," Loki curtly responded before making it disappear again. "As long as I keep it in a pocket dimension, the wrong hands won't be able to apprehend it."

Seeing Fury open his mouth, Loki jumped ahead.

"And yes, Your hands _are_ the wrong hands, Director. Or need I remind you of the last time you had it?" All eyes narrowed and glanced at Nick, who flinched. The director rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I think we outta- Wait a second, there's a-"

The feed cut out, leaving a group of baffled Avenger, and ,Finally, Hawkeye spoke up.

"Well, Loki, whatever happens next." The archer patted his shoulder. "Welcome to the Aven-"

An explosion rocked the upstate facility, and the Avengers all flew through the air as the force of the explosion pushed them apart. Loki landed on his feet, and shielded Peter from the flying rubble.

"Nat!" Clint called out, searching frantically for his red-headed friend, who was sheltered behind a man with a metal arm. The aftermath of the explosion was surprisingly quiet as Loki's ears rang. The god of mischief blinked blearily and looked around him. The Avengers were scrambling through the debris, and behind him, Peter helped Aunt May to her feet. No one noticed the large figure that stepped onto a large slab of jagged concrete.

"Son of Laufey." A voice boomed, and Loki's face drained of what little color it had. All the Avengers turned to look at the panicked Loki. His green eyes were wide and— fearful. He didn't turn to look at the speaker. He knew from the evil tone, as the deep voice continued to speak.

"You failed to bring me the Tesseract. Now;" Loki slowly turned to look up at the sadistic grin of Thanos. The purple titan leered down at Loki, and spike entered the menacing tone as he sneered. "Now...I'm going to kill you."


	14. Chapter 14

-Previously-

"Son of Laufey." A voice boomed, and Loki's face drained of what little color it had. All the Avengers turned to look at the panicked Loki. His green eyes were wide and— fearful.

He didn't turn to look at the speaker. He knew from the evil tone, as the deep voice continued to speak.

"You failed to bring me the Tesseract. Now;"

Loki slowly turned to look up at the sadistic grin of Thanos. The purple titan leered down at Loki, and spoke in a menacing tone.

"Now...I'm going to kill you."

-now-

Loki immediately tensed at the evil glint of Thanos's eye, but then his sarcastic attitude rebooted and he rolled his eyes.

"If I'm for the axe, then for pity's sake, just swing it." He quoted what he'd told Odin just a little over a year ago.

He was trying to stall the titan enough for his friends to run away. The idiots wouldn't budge. He gave Strange a significant look, and the Magician seemed to snap to his senses, and conjured a shield. Loki charged Thanos, just as the Iron Man armor burst through the wall, engulfing Tony in a metal coffin. Well, Loki suspected it might be Tony's future coffin, considering their foe.

Nat threw stinging disks at the titan, but he dodged all their attacks. Occupied with the attack, (which the other avengers and Bucky joined),Thanos wasn't paying attention as Strange subtly created a portal in front of May.

She glared at him.

"I'm not going through that." She growled, ducking as a piece of debris flew overhead.

He sighed and rolled his eyes at the stubborn woman, and inclined his head. She took it as submission, until she felt a shove and tumbled through the portal . Her mind then realized that it had been a signal to a certain spider teen. To be fair, Peter looked terrified as he waved awkwardly. "Sorry ,Aunt May!"

He grimaced, before Strange closed the portal.

"She's gonna kill me." Peter muttered, pulling on his mask, since he did already have the rest of his suit on. "That's if he doesn't first." Strange said grimly, changing clothes with a flick of his fingers, and levitating toward the fight.

"Oh, and I sent her to my home; Wong will keep an eye on her! Should anything happen, she'll be safe." Strange called over his shoulder.

"That sounds like the Wong attitude to take." Peter muttered, then snickered to himself as he swung toward the purple alien.

An earth shattering roar announced the arrival of the Hulk; who appeared through the floor where the fighting had just knocked The curly-haired scientist through moments before.

"We have a hulk." Loki muttered under his breath, chuckling at the reminder of his fight with Tony nearly a decade ago.

Thanos, the ancient and gigantic titan that he was, could still fight remarkably well, and his great size added to his strength and endurance.

Natasha bolted, jumping at the last moment and gearing up to kick Thanos in the jaw; however, the mad titan saw her coming.

He wrapped a meaty hand around her ankle and effortlessly flung her into Barton, who collapsed under her weight, dropping his bow to the floor.

Meanwhile, while Tony shot Thanos with his repulsors, the Hulk attacked from the right, throwing a giant fist at Thanos.

Catching the giant green fist, Thanos easily swung the hulk off the floor and through the air, causing him to crash into Tony. Both went down, flinging bits of concrete and rubble into the air, as they collided with the floor.

"Ow, get off me, Banner!" Tony shouted, struggling to breathe under the Hulk's massive... well mass.

"Puny Banner gone; only hulk now." Responded the rage monster, a glimmer of gama radiation sparkling through his eyes.

"Fine whatever, go smash the giant grape guy and get off me!" Tony wheezed slamming his fists weakly against the hulk's shoulder.

Back at the scene, the remaining heroes were valiantly trying to bring down Thanos.

"Cap, I need a clear shot at his face!" Peter shouted, as Cap hunkered down in response, holding his shield up at an angle. Taking that as his cue, Peter put one foot on the shield and jumped while Cap bounced the shield, sending the spider teen flying through the air.

Aiming carefully, spiderman shot two long sticky strings of webbing at Thanos's face, effectively blinding the titan. Thanos tried to pull the webbing free- "Now, hit him!" cried out Peter doing a barrel roll mid-air and landing on his feet.

The winter soldier and Loki came up from the left, Barnes taking out his guns and Loki his daggers. Bucky fired his 9mm pistol, hitting Thanos square in one shoulder, and the titan flailed an arm, knocking Bucky and off his feet.

Jumping over the sweeping arm with the grace of a cat, Loki tossed about six daggers, all of which missed except for one. Thanos shouted in anger and pain, stumbling forward, but also managing to pry the remaining webbing from his face.

"Enough!" The titan roared ,punching Loki in the chest and sending him flying into Peter who hadn't managed to dodge out of the way. The two toppled over with a grunt, and Strange and Rogers were the only heroes left standing.

"Thanos, I've come to bargain." Strange said loudly, glancing at Rogers who looked winded.

"I've come to bargain as well, mortal." Thanos snapped his fingers, and a portal opened. Two figures stepped through the opening.

Everyone had recovered their footing by now; but no one wanted to approach Thanos again without hearing what his "Bargain" was.

As Loki noticed the two figures who had just emerged from the portal, his blood ran even colder than it had been.

One he knew to be the right hand of Thanos's Black Order; Proxima Midnight. She was violent and cunning, her sword snugly pressed to the throat of a certain god of thunder. The same one that Loki had recently accepted as slightly important to himself.

Flitting across the giant purple face of Thanos was a horrifying smile, one that would have given Dormammu himself terrible nightmares.

"A bargain... Yes." He turned to Loki. "Surrender and their deaths will be quick. If you do not do so, I'll make you watch as I torture every last one of them, only then to kill you. Either way, Laufeyson, you die." Loki glanced over at his team mates; Thor was more of an Avenger than Loki. The other's could have easily overpowered the god of mischief and hand over to Thanos; an act the warriors three wouldn't have really thought twice about.

Nearing Thanos, Proxima handed over her beaten and bloodied one-eyed charge to the purple being.

"Are you sure you do not wish for me to stay?" She asked, eyeing the Avenger.

Thanos glared at her.

"Never question my orders." The massive titan snarled, and with that, she disappeared into thin air, not willing to press Thanos's temper.

"Now, Laufeyson. What do you have to say for the life of this?" he shook Thor in the air by the back of his neck. "Avengers, you could always just give him to me in return for your friend here."

"Loki's with us, and you can't have him!" Captain America shouted, readjusting his shield and glaring with righteous fury.

"That's right! We know what you did to him. Why call him a traitor if he never worked willingly for you in the first place?" Clint asked, bow and arrow aimed at the floor as he rolled his neck.

Seeing the anger glint in Thanos's eyes, Loki mumbled "You really shouldn't have asked that." as he took a defensive step back.

Thanos growled at them in response and pressed a button on his belt. A green wave shot out and green energy bands restrained every member of the Avengers, save for Loki.

Instantly on alert, Loki whipped around and watched helplessly as the Avengers fought to free themselves.

Thanos, meanwhile, laughed scornfully at their attempts.

" You're a pathetic-"

Loki drowned out the long string of insults leaving Thanos's mouth. Retreating would be an easy enough feat; he had done it countless times before, falling from the bifrost, faking his death on Svartalfheim, taking over the throne of Asgard. It would be so easy to just turn his back and leave, but he couldn't. As much as he hated to admit it, the Avengers were his friends, his allies. If he left now, Thanos would kill them and Thor.

"You," Loki cackled, a reminiscent reminder of his criminal days , his skin rapidly turning deep blue, eyes shining blood red. His mischievous smirk spread over his narrow face, and the true god of mischief shone through the guarded barrier he'd built over the last few years. The Trickster was back."You ,Thanos, are a complete and utter fool."

To say the Avenger's jaws dropped would be an understatement. Their chins were on the floor, as Loki stood proud in all his Jotun glory, embracing the part of him that he'd hid since Odin told him he was a frost giant. The power. The cunning. The fun.

 _No more hiding._

His skin was a deep aqua color, with intricate and perfectly symmetrical patterns on it. His eyes were a deep ruby red, not as orange as his birth father's, but dark as blood.

Unbeknownst to him, a small crown formed from pure ice on his head, signifying his royal blood.

Truly he was born to be a king. On Asgard or Jotunheim it mattered not.

"Put. My. Brother. Down." He growled.

When he got no response other than a sadistic smile, Loki waved his hands, and the Casket of Ancient Winters appeared from his hidden arsenal of weapons.

He shot a blast at Thanos, who was forced to drop a very unconscious Thor onto the ground in order to shield himself from the raw, biting cold.

Loki used his magic to teleport his brother somewhere across the room, away from the Titan's murderous grip.

Making the casket vanish again, Loki readied himself for the fight he knew was coming.

"I'll destroy you, worm. You will wish you were nev-"

"Never born?" Loki cut in, eyes blazing. "You don't think I've never wished that before? You idiot, I've endured more pain in my lifetime than one thousand other souls put together. Yet, here I stand, unbroken. And that was when I didn't have anything to live for except for myself."

"And now you will die and feel their deaths on your conscience for the rest of your life. Although it won't be very long once I'm done-"

Loki didn't wait for Thanos to finish his rant, summoning two daggers with the snap of his fingers, the trickster flung them at Thanos with deadly precision.

Surprised, Thanos dodged one and caught the other between his thumb and index finger, holding up the small dagger to examine it.

"You really thought this would stop me?" He barked in laughter. "Pathetic."

"No, actually, I didn't." Loki responded, and with another snap of his fingers, the dagger vanished in a brilliant flash of white light, effectively blinding Thanos once again.

Shouting in rage and pain, Thanos scowled and rubbed his eyes, trying to bring his vision back, meanwhile forgetting Loki, who was now charging towards him.

"You told me family and friends were a weakness, told me they held me back. I was so out of sorts, that I was foolish enough to believe you; and that was the worst mistake I've ever made. You're right though, they do hold someone back, hold them back from making the worst decisions of their lives. Family and friends are an anchor, they keep you from drifting into oblivion. Family is far more important than you could possible know, and I've found mine!" Loki shouted, jumping and plunging a dagger into Thanos' armor. It didn't penetrate the skin, but it was enough of a distraction for Loki to bolt through the nearby door.

Before he exited the room, he turned and smirked at the Titan. "My, my ,Thanos, your mother must be so disappointed in you. You can't catch one pathetic Jotun!"

"How dare you- Get back here coward!" Thanos boomed , and left the room, fingers clenched tightly into fists.

He was hunting, and Loki was his prey.

"Hey, raisin." Tony shouted after him. "Care to free us now? I mean, you're gonna die anyway." Thanos made no response, merely leaving his prisoners trapped in the mystic green bonds.

"I'm too young to die!" Clint squeaked, struggling in vain against his bonds.

"I'm just glad Aunt May's not here. I don't have to watch him hurt her." Added Peter with a sorrowful look obscured by his mask.

Tony nodded wordlessly. He was currently overloading the wiring in his suit's left forearm, and soon enough it gave out, leaving a burning sensation on his singed skin, but his arm was freed.

Bucky had slowly been heating and cooling his metal arm, causing the restraining band around it to pulse, fizzle, and fade entirely. The two tore themselves the rest of the way free.

After a brief moment, they nodded at each other.

Suddenly remembering the hulking purple murder machine that was currently hunting down their team-mate, Bucky whipped around, grabbing Cap's Shield.

"I'm just gonna borrow this ,Steve" Announced the ex assassin, not really caring if the super-soldier agreed or not.

"Free the others." Strange ordered Tony as he broke out of his bonds with some fancy conjuring trick; he then nodded at Bucky. "And we'll go help Loki."

Hesitating only briefly, the billionaire finally nodded, shuffling over to help his trapped team-mates.

A thunderous crash caused the building to shake violently, and both the sorceror and the assassin to halt dead in their tracks.

The building was empty due to it being vacation time, leaving the place eerily empty. It also meant no civilians were in danger.

"We gotta find Loki." Bucky shouted, charging in the direction of the mini earthquake.

They surged through the hallways, trying to locate the trickster and the giant purple grape monster, to no avail.

"The building isn't that big! Where could they-"

Crash! Crash! Crash!

The wall in front of both men exploded in a blur of jagged slabs of concrete, flecks of paint, and fist sized rubble bits. Strange erected a magical shield and Bucky raised Roger's signature shield, both covering their faces from flying debris.

Thick gray dust settled in the hallway, forcing Barnes and Strange to cough and hack to dispel the foreign substance from their lungs.

A weak cough from a few feet away drew the attention of the two heroes, and Strange wandered blindly in the direction, backed by Barnes.

Foot catching on something soft, Strange tumbled forwards, and had it not been for his wonderful cape, he would have kissed the floor.

As the dust cleared, Loki became visible, half buried in the rubble, no longer blue, and looking completely dazed.

"Loki." Strange called, dropping to his knees next to the trickster.

Loki glanced at him, emerald green eyes slowly coming into focus.

"Strange," Came the very slow and slurred response.

"Are you hurt?" Asked Bucky worriedly, moving to Loki's other side to free him from the rubble.

"I was just thrown through four walls. Nng... Give me a second." Loki snapped back, massaging his temples.

Murderous laughter filled through the hallway as Thanos stepped into the way too small hallway.

"We don't have a second." Strange shot back, gripping Loki's arm, drawing it over his shoulder, and hoisting him up.

The trio began a hasty retreat backwards in the direction they'd come from.

"You think you can run from me. I will utterly crush you, make you wish you had never been brought into your pathetic exsitance." The mad titan's voice boomed throughout the facility.

"You already used the 'wish you'd never been born' threat." Strange called back. "C'mon, man! Be more original, would ya?"

"We need a plan!" Bucky said, eyes scanning the hallway they just came from.

Loki pulled away from Strange and looked him dead in the eyes. "Leave; this is my fight. Free the others, get my brother, and run as fast as you can. I'll hold him off."

"Not a chance. We face him together." Bucky announced, taking a step backwards as Thanos lumbered towards them.

"I- I need a distraction." Loki spoke breathlessly.

Bucky nodded, and Loki took off running down the hallway.

"Please tell me, he didn't just ditch us." Strange begged the metal armed assassin.

"He was right to run. You are foolish for not following his example." Thanos snarled at them.

"Distraction." Bucky reminded Strange under his breath, grabbing the magician by the arm and pulling him roughly through a nearby doorway.

The two ran out of the room, and after climbing a flight of stairs, winding through a few hallways, and ducking through a few offices, they paused. "Friday, locate Thanos." Strange ordered.

"Thanos is twenty centimeters behind Mr Barnes." Friday answered as Bucky, in surprise ducked just in time to avoid the bone-crushing punch aimed at his head.

Strange tried to send mirror dimension shards at the titan, but Thanos blocked them easily with his heavily armored hand.

Abruptly, the attack was halted by the sudden appearance of a blue person. Loki's fist was encased in one large pointy shard of ice; a weapon which the Trickster plunged into Thanos's chest.

The titan dropped to his knees, and Loki held his gaze, ripping his fist-sword out of Thanos's chest.

The Jotun turned to his companions, as Bucky kicked the purple personage in the chest, sending him to his back. "He will heal quickly, or call for back up from the Black Order." Loki warned breathlessly.

"Yeah, no he won't." Stephen said, slipping his hand to his belt.

"The sun... will he survive in that?" Strange asked, forcing himself to focus.

Loki gave him a flabbergasted look, but finally nodded. "No, I don't think so. Not through prolonged exposure. I'll put up a protective force-field," Loki said with finality.

"You might want to close your eyes." Strange warned, and Loki's put a tinted heat shield in a bubble around Thanos as the other sorcerer opened a sparking portal right under the enemy. The titan along with other bits of debris were sucked towards and finally through the portal, and straight into the sun.

 _ **TBC**_

 **Well ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you've all had a terrific week-end.**

 **I do very much look forward to getting the next chapter up soon! Oh, and thanks for all the reviews; they always light up our days.**

 **I hope you all have an amazing rest of the week, and I'll see ya next time!**

 **Ps... Remember, some of us (myself included) haven't seen Infinity War... So please don't comment any spoilers. Thanks.**

 **-Darkwolf**


	15. 15

-Previously-

"You might want to close your eyes." Strange warned, and Loki's put a tinted heat shield in a bubble around Thanos as the other sorcerer opened a sparking portal right under the enemy. The titan along with other bits of debris were sucked towards and finally through the portal, straight into the sun.

-Present-

Strange closed the swirling vortex and they all stood for a long moment, staring at the spot where the titan had been moments before.

"I- can't believe that actually worked." Bucky spoke, voice laced in awe.

"It was really that easy!? All these years, and all I had to do was push him into the sun!?" Loki groaned in disbelief, earning a sympathetic smile from Strange.

Bucky wasn't so courteous.

"Oh, that's just sad, man." He said with a cackle, earning a murderous glare from Loki.

The trickster finally straightened himself as he realized something. "It's not over. Not really."

"Um… Dude we just kicked him _**into the sun**_." Barnes responded crossing his arms and snorting in disbelief.

"I'm not referring to him, but rather his Black Order. They'll want revenge, and as long as they live, I'm far from safe."

"Welcome to the club ." Strange grinned, clapping Loki on the shoulder.

Well, trying to.

Loki dodged his hand, and forced his skin back to its pale color. "Frost giant skin tends to... burn." He explained to Strange, who just shrugged.

Crash!

The three flinched and prepared for an attack, but they then realized the clanging came from where the rest of the Avengers were.

"Now, howabout we go check up on Mr. Metal-Pants and the rest of the colorful crusaders out there." Bucky suggested with a sigh.

Loki nodded, following Strange and Barnes back through the complex and into the gym.

The Avengers glanced up as the trio walked in looking like they'd all been hit. In the face. With a wrecking ball. Covered in spikes.

Tony was trying in vain to free Clint who wouldn't sit still long enough to let the inventor get a good grip on him.

"Hold still , you bird brained idiot!" Tony scowled as he turned his gauntlet laser off to avoid hitting his friend, who of course was covered in scrapes.

Glaring at Tony, the archer wriggled.

"You are pointing a laser _**at my arm**_!" Clint shrieked.

"I'm pointing it at your energy cuff, so hold still!" Stark snarled back.

With a grin, Loki snapped his fingers and dispelled Clint's cuff along with everyone elses . The Archer screamed in a high unmanly pitch as he fell face first to the floor.

"Ow." He murmured, holding his nose.

"Serves you right!" Tony snapped, brushing himself off whilst shooting a particularly foul glare at Clint.

"You couldn't have done that earlier?" A pale Bruce grumbled as he stood up. Apparently the hulk had turned back into timid Bruce Banner while he was being suspended by energy cuffs.

"What happened to Thanos?" Peter asked worriedly, shifting a hand through his short brunette hair.

"Well, if he can survive being pushed into the sun then… Good for him." Strange responded curtly, earning jaw dropped expressions from every Avenger in the room.

"The sun." Stark stated, a dumbfounded look cast in Loki's direction.

"It was Strange's idea. He truly is sadistic." Responded Loki with a smirk. "I do believe we could possibly get along."

"Hey, I was-am a doctor. I don't like killing people!" Strange shouted.

Loki didn't look too convinced.

All eyes snapped to a golden portal opening in the middle of the room and held their breaths as it opened.

Then, May emerged scowling, followed closely by a _very_ unhappy Wong. Yeah, together they might have been scarier than Thanos and his Black Order.

"Did you lose something?" Wong asked dryly.

"No, I intentionally misplaced something… Or someone." Strange corrected when May took a threatening step forward.

"Aunt May..." Peter winced as he was suddenly engulfed in a massive May bear hug.

Pulling away she gripped his shoulders. "Peter Benjamin Parker, if you _**ever**_ do something like that again, I promise you; grounding will look like your own personal heaven compared to what I will do." She scowled.

"Yes, Aunt May." Peter meekly nodded, yanking off the mask and looking his aunt in the eyes.

A groan caught everyone's attention, and everyone suddenly remembered Thor.

They looked over to find that Loki had healed his injuries, and was now attempting to wake him up.

"Come on ,you big oaf; wake up." Loki grumbled worriedly patting Thor's cheek.

Thor cracked his eyes open, only seeing a black haired blur inches from his face.

Right, Loki was attacking New York ,and Odin had sent Thor to stop him.

Okay, so stop him.

A fist shot out, hitting Loki square in the jaw, and sending the younger brother reeling with a shout of surprise.

Oh.

Sitting straight up, Thor suddenly remembered Loki wasn't attacking New York, but was now an Avenger. The god of thunder also remembered as Thanos confessed to taking over his little brother's mind.

"Brother I'm-"

"Don't" Loki raised a hand and massaged his jaw. "Just don't."

The Avengers snickered as Loki extended his hand and helped Thor to his feet.

"It's been a while ,brother." Thor grinned.

"Barely three weeks, and totally not long enough-mbleargh!" Loki retorted, letting out a yelp of surprise as Thor pulled him into a bone crunching hug.

"Thor, I demand you let go this instant! People are staring." When Thor refused to relinquish his hold, Loki added. "Don't make me stab you."

At this Thor released him, and immediately jumped on the offensive.

"Why didn't you tell me about Thanos?"

"I'll have you remember, I _**am**_ the god of lies. Who would believe me? Certainly not fath-um Odin. Besides, Thanos was a myth up until recent years." Loki sighed.

Thor smiled at the earthlings. "So were we, little brother." He patted him on the back.

A few months ago, Loki would have detested even allowing Thor to call him brother, but now... It wasn't so bad.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to the trickster.

"So, I'm pardoned, that means, I am no longer required to stay with the Avengers... Right?" Loki asked, earning surprised glances from said superheroes.

"No, I suppose you do not." Thor admitted sadly. He had hoped that Loki would come to regard them as friends. "Do you wish to stay with the Avengers?"

"No."

Everyone froze and looked at the trickster with wide eyes. Loki smiled softly, and clapped Bucky on the back.

"I wish to stay with my friends, and if that means staying with the Avengers- so be it." A heavy weight, having settled during Thanos's attack, seemed to vanish as everyone began smiling.

Thor joined them in smiling broadly. "Excellent. Um... What happened to Thanos?"

"Strange and Loki pushed him into the sun... " Tony deadpanned.

"I helped." Bucky added, and Thor just blinked at them.

"How long has Thanos had you brother?" Loki asked green eyes glancing at Thor worriedly.

"Less than forty-eight hours. He didn't seriously hurt me." Thor added quickly, and Loki scoffed.

Without warning Loki put his glowing green hand on Thor's forehead and closed his eyes.

Thor tensed, twitching slightly as the Avengers watched on in shock.

"Thanos hasn't messed with your mind at all; so I think you're fine." Loki explained after pulling his hand away.

The blonde Asgardian nodded contentedly.

"You know son of Fury will demand to know what happened here. After that, I must return to Asgard." Thor announced. "I trust Loki would rather remain with you."

"Wait, why do we have to babysit your brother? Thor?! He's a minor!" Tony whined, earning slap backside the head by Bucky.

Loki facepalmed. "Oh no. Not again."

Thor blinked at them in confusion, and Loki sighed. "I'm roughly seventeen by midgardian standards, Thor. A 'minor'."

"Well as your king, I declare you are no longer a minor." Thor decreed.

Loki and half of the Avengers facepalmed once more.

"Thor, my dear oblivious brother... It doesn't quite work like that." Loki sighed patting him on the back.

The trickster winced and rubbed the back of his neck, still sore from his fight with Thanos. His fingers brushed the device meant to keep him in check, and a wry smile flit across his lips.

"Oh- Captain, I do believe it is a good time to remove this." Loki pulled the collar of his shirt down to remind the captain of the device attached to his neck.

"What's that?" Tony asked, rubbing a hand through his dusty black hair.

"It's a device to keep me in check. Painful paralysis, and whatnot- I've been wearing it the entire time."

Strange's eye twitched and Wong doubled over laughing.

"I wasn't even needed? You forced me on this horrendous excuse for a vacation, and I didn't even have to come?!" Strange was livid.

"I can't believe you didn't detect that!" Wong snickered under his breath. "I knew as soon as he arrived on Earth!"

"And yet you let me go?!"

"You've been tense recently. A vacation was needed." Replied Wong innocently.

"You little-"

"Fury didn't know either; so don't feel _**too**_ bad." Steve spoke up, tossing a square device from out of his pocket to Loki.

The trickster caught it and pressed a button on top, causing the disk on his neck to pop off into his hand.

"Wait let me exam-" Tony didn't get to finish his statement before Loki dropped the device on the floor and squashed it with his boot, also making the controller vanish into thin air.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Loki asked with a wry grin.

"He's going to fit in around here." Thor deduced with a nod of satisfaction.

"Oh, speaking of fitting in, Bucky, Are you staying with the Avengers?" Steve asked.

The Winter Soldier gave it a moment of thought, and finally smirked. "Someone's gotta keep this punk in line." He replied punching Loki in the shoulder.

"And Strange?"

"No, no, no and no. Nope, not joining the Avengers. You all are trouble." Strange shook his head.

"How about honorary Avenger? On call when we need you, and- you get to come to movie nights." Clint grinned.

Strange seriously considered Hawkeye's offer with a raised eyebrow.

"On call?" Strange asked, arms crossed.

"Earth-wide or magical crises only." Roger's assurred.

"Fine... As long as we have cheese popcorn on the movie night." Strange announced, a smug smirk twitching across his lips.

"Wouldn't be movie night without it." Clint grinned while Strange nodded in satisfaction.

"Well, I have a feeling we'll be dealing with the Black Order sometime soon, but I'll be ready for them." Loki announced.

"Nah, we'll all be ready for 'em." Steve responded, grinning as Clint and Natasha hooked their arms through each of Loki's.

"Welcome to the family." Bruce announced. Then under his breath- "The massively dysfunctional family."

"Full of complete morons." Clint added with a wink at Natasha.

"And idiots." She agreed.

"Who fight all the time." Steve said, glaring at Tony.

"But forgive each other in the end." Tony added shooting a bright smile at Steve, who also began to smile.

"Cause that's what a family does." Agreed Bucky.

It seemed like nothing could ruin the warm moment... until without warning, Jarvis spoke from the ceiling.

"Sir, you've received a new text message from director Fury."

Stark instantly had his custom made smartphone in hand, a broad smile crossing his lips.

"Fury says if we can get our rear ends to the helicarrier in five minutes for debrief; the vacation's over."

"Well what are we waiting for?!" Strange asked, practically bouncing in excitement as he opened a portal into the helicarrier.

They all began pushing and shoving to get through the tiny portal, chattering happily.

Loki couldn't help but grin as he looked around at his friends. No, not friends. His _family_.

After so much searching, anger, frustration, sorrow and pain, he was finally home. All thanks to that one, very unforgettable road trip.

 _ **END**_

 ***sniff* It's over! *sniff***

 **Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm both happy and sad to say that this story is officially completed!**

 **This is probably the largest story I've ever written, and it's been a wild ride.**

 **Both Aria and I have had a blast writing this, and we hope you all enjoyed it.**

 **Thanks to all of you who took the time to read and review this story.**

 **Now-as a wise alien once said.**

 **"Live long and prosper."**

 **-Darkwolf**


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